1.) No trolling. If you cant have fun without being a jerk to others, find some other forum to QQ 2.) No inappropriate/vulgar/sexually explicit posting. Staff reserves the right to deem anything they see fit as inappropriate. 3.) Have fun and don't post anything not geared at having fun! 4.) Please respect staff members and their decisions at all times. If you cannot accept a staff or moderator decision, please appeal to admin Seth.
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:48 am Posts: 8023 Location: Fuyuki City Gender: male
Collected from the same sources...
A 2ch story from 2004, posted in the middle of a thread called “Post About Strange Occurrences Around You: Thread 26.” The poster was anonymous at first, but started attaching their name later.
#??? This may just be my imagination… Can I post it anyway?
#2ch Go ahead.
#2ch What’s going on?
#??? I’ve been riding a certain train for a while, but something seems off.
#??? I always take this train to work. But it hasn’t stopped at any stations for the past twenty minutes or so. It usually only takes five minutes, seven or eight at worst. Oh, and there’s five other passengers, but they’re all sleeping.
#2ch Did you take the express train by mistake?
#2ch Is it a high-speed train?
#??? Well, it’s possible I may have just missed my stop. I’ll wait a little longer. If anything else strange occurs, I might bring it up here.
#2ch Try going to the car on the end to see the conductor, maybe?
#2ch It would be really bad if the driver had an epileptic fit or something. You should check on the conductor!
#??? Still not sign of stopping, so all right, I’ll take a look.
#??? There were blinds or something covering the window, so I couldn’t see the conductor or the driver. The route is a private railway in Shizuoka.
#2ch Knock on the window?
Hasumi I tried that, but nobody answered.
#2ch Can you see out the window? Names of stations you’re passing, etc.
Hasumi We came out a tunnel, so we’re dropping speed slightly. There usually aren’t any tunnels, though… It’s a train from Shin-Hamamatsu.
Hasumi Looks like we’re finally stopping at a station.
#2ch You aren’t going to get off there… are you?
Hasumi We’re stopped at Kisaragi Station. I wonder if I should get off. I’ve never heard of this place before.
#2ch Definitely check it out.
#2ch No, stay on until the last stop.
#2ch Oh, but it’s probably already departing now…
#2ch When did you get on the train?
Hasumi I’ve gotten off the train. The station’s unmanned. I believe I got on the train at 11:40.
#2ch I’m not finding any information on Kisaragi Station… And Hasumi, your train was going for over an hour? Well, that’s really strange.
#2ch Yeah, I’m not getting any results for Kisaragi Station…
Hasumi I’m looking for a schedule so I can get back, but I can’t find one. The train is still stopped, so it’d probably be safest to get back on… Well, it left while I was writing that.
#2ch Is there anyone nearby, or any buildings? It’s cold out, so be careful.
Hasumi I’ll look for a taxi from the station. Thank you very much.
#2ch Sounds good. Take care.
#2ch Way past the last train, at an unmanned station… Really questionable if you’ll have any luck finding a taxi there.
#2ch And so Hasumi became an inhabitant of the two-dimensional world…
Hasumi There don’t seem to be any taxis anywhere. Hmm…
#2ch Call 110? [Number for police.]
#2ch Call the taxi company?
#2ch If there’s a telephone booth nearby, look up the taxi company in the phonebook and call.
Hasumi I called home and asked to be picked up, but neither of my parents seem to know where Kisaragi Station is. They’ll look for it on the maps so they can come get me, but I’m getting a little scared now.
#2ch What about the others? Are you the only one who got off the train?
#2ch I checked online too, and the name Kisaragi Station isn’t coming up. Am I wrong in assuming it’s around Shin-Hamamatsu? I’ll check Yahoo.
Hasumi I looked for a public phone, but there’s nothing. And no one else got off, so I’m alone now. It’s definitely called Kisaragi.
#2ch Sometimes they have phones outside the station.
Hasumi Looking into it, apparently it’s written with the kanji for “Devil,” but it’s read “Kisaragi”…
#2ch Devil Station…? Yikes…
#2ch Are you a gaming nerd? ‘Cause a game comes up if you Google it.
#2ch Tell us the names of the stations before and after Kisaragi.
Hasumi What do you mean, a game? It doesn’t say what the next and previous stations are.
#2ch Walk back along the track.
#2ch If you start running now, you might catch up to the train!
#2ch There must be houses around the station, right?
Hasumi Yes, there are. I didn’t quite notice since I was panicking. I’m waiting for my parents to call while walking along the track. I tried checking town information on i-mode, but it gave me a “point error” or something. I want to go home.
Hasumi There’s really just nothing around here. All I can see are fields and mountains. But I think I’ll be able to make it back if I go down the track, so I’ll keep pushing on. Thank you very much. Treat this as a joke if you will, but can I come to you if I encounter any more trouble?
#2ch Of course. Just be careful out there.
#2ch Sure! Just make sure you don’t run out of battery. Your phone’s your lifeline right now.
#2ch Don’t get lost. And be careful in the tunnel.
#2ch Huh, you can get a signal out in the middle of nowhere? I kinda think you shouldn’t stray far from the station…
#2ch All alone on a cold night, at a station with no attendants… Soon the lights could go out, and it’ll be pitch black…
#2ch It really might be safest to wait for daybreak at the station, though…
#2ch Oh geez, this sounds bad…
Hasumi I got a call from my father, and he had many questions, but simply couldn’t find my location. I’ve been told to call 110, which I’m a little opposed to doing, but I’ll try asking them to help me now…
#2ch I really think you should wait until it gets lighter out before you do anything…
#2ch Waiting all alone in the dead of night? And in some ominous place, yikes…
#2ch ^ Going through a tunnel alone in the dead of night? And on some ominous train line, yikes…
Hasumi I called 110 and tried my absolute best to explain the situation, but they thought it was all a joke and got angry at me. So I got scared and apologized…
#2ch Apologized for what? Should probably give up for today. Wait for the first train.
#2ch What’s it like around the station? What’s there?
Hasumi I hear what sounds like a beating drum mixed with some kind of bell way off in the distance. Honestly, I have no idea what to do at this point.
#2ch Get back to the station for now, Hasumi. It’s best to return to where you started when you’re lost.
#2ch Here’s where it gets going…
#2ch Are they having a festival or what?
Hasumi You might think I’m kidding, but I’m too scared to look behind me. I do want to go back to the station, but… I don’t dare turn around.
#2ch Run. And don’t look back.
#2ch You can’t go back to the station now. Run through the tunnel! I’m sure you’ll find you’re not far.
Hasumi Someone behind me yelled “Hey! Don’t walk on the track, that’s dangerous!” I looked around expecting to see an attendant, and saw an one-legged old man, but he vanished. I think I’m too scared to move.
#2ch I told you not to look back! RUN
#2ch Calm down and listen to big bro, okay? Check out where that drum’s coming from. There’s bound to be somebody playing it…
#2ch ^ Where the hell are you planning to take Hasumi?
#2ch Why’d you know it was an “old man” if it was just a single leg?
#2ch ^ …Uh, I think Hasumi meant an old man who lost one of his legs.
#2ch Must’ve been an old man who died and lost a leg after walking along the track.
Hasumi I can’t walk or run any further. The drumming sound is getting a little closer.
#2ch Wait for dawn. It won’t be scary in the daylight.
#2ch I’m glad I stayed on the train…
Hasumi I’m still alive. But I fell and started bleeding, and I broke a heel, so I’m sitting still on the ground. I don’t want to die now…
#2ch It should be safe if you leave the tunnel. Once you get out of there, call for help immediately.
Hasumi I called home. Dad’s calling the police, but the sound keeps getting closer.
#2ch I hope to god that’s not the sound of a train… But it might be too late…
Hasumi I finally managed to make it to the front of the tunnel. The name says Isanuki. The sound’s still getting closer, so I’m going to leave the tunnel. If I’m safe once I get out of the tunnel, I’ll post again.
#2ch Good luck.
#2ch This is the end. Forget about trains and stations. Forget about going back. Forget about someone chasing you. The sound you’re hearing is just something you imagined. Run out of the tunnel. If you stop, you’ll only succumb to something which does not belong in this world.
Hasumi I left the tunnel. There’s someone up ahead. It looks like all your advice was right after all. Thank you so much. My face is such a mess from tears, he might just mistake me for a monster.
#2ch Wait, Hasumi! Don’t die on us!
#2ch Stop! That can’t be good!
#2ch Someone there? This late at night? That’s suspicious…
Hasumi He seems gentle, and was worried for me. He called for a train to take me to the nearest station. Apparently there’s some kind of business hotel there. I’m truly, truly thankful to all of you.
#2ch Hasumi, please answer me this one thing. Can you ask that man what that place is?
#2ch Is he really gentle? He sounds kinda scary from what you said…
#2ch That guy’s no good!! Why’s he by the track at this hour? He must’ve been a corpse or something! Hasumi, RUN!!
Hasumi I asked him where it was, and he said Hina. That seems extremely unlikely, though…
#2ch Hasumi, get off the train!
#2ch Excuse me, Hasumi? Where’s Hina?
Hasumi We’ve been headed toward the mountains for some time. It really doesn’t strike me as a place where trains would go. And he’s stopped talking to me entirely.
#2ch Probably because you’re constantly messing with your phone?
#2ch Hasumi, oh no, oh no… Did you contact your parents after you got out of the tunnel and received aid (?) from this guy?
#2ch Hasumi. Please call 110. This might be your last chance.
Hasumi My battery’s almost run out. Things are getting strange, so I think I’m going to make a run for it. He’s been talking to himself about bizarre things for a while now. To prepare for just the right time, I’m going to make this my last post for now.
“Kyouka-san!!! The release date of our new song conflicts with that of the popular rival band Morning Musume!!” “WHAT?!?!?!?!? WHAT did you say?!?!?!?!?!”
What to do…? They would take first place on the Oricon rankings…
Morning Musume was a rival group in which Kazuko Saitou was the top girl. To be honest, it was more popular than AKB47.
“Sniff….. What to do… Maybe if instead of just doing handshakes, we take pictures with people…” “Morn-Mus is already doing that!” “WHAT?!?!?!? That’s VICIOUS!! Morn-Mus is a PACK OF VICIOUS DOGS!!!”
I stamped my feet. And it created a fissure in the ground. And so the Morn-Mus offices were destroyed.
“I DID IT!!!!!” I ate peperoncino while doing the Cossack dance.
“What?! What’s the meaning of this?!?!” BANG!!! The door flew open, and there was Kazuko Saitou.
“Are you Kyouka Sanzan?” “Yes, but…” “You were that girl who was being bullied, weren’t you?” “That’s ancient history, isn’t it?” “It was only a month ago!” “Well, I’ve been reborn!” “What’s with that attitude? Your dancing is disgusting.” “Ah? I think you’re the disgusting one. ^^” “Nope, I’m definitely the cute one.” “Ah? You were the loser when you joined Morn-Mus. Because this is the era of AKB.” “No, no. *laughs* Morn-Mus is on top in looks. And in profits.” “No, no, no, Morn-Mus is on the decline. AKB is the future.” “Blech! *laughs* Maybe among otaku. Morn-Mus is recognized the world over.” “Hah? I’m pretty sure you’re the group dirty otaku obsess over. Like those photos you were taking, eh?” “You don’t want to admit the dirty things YOU’VE been doing…”
“Stop this!!!” “Mother…” I heard my mother, who I thought was dead. I cried.
“Kazuko-san, let’s tag-team!!! ☆” “Okay!!!!”
And so AKB-Musume was born.
AKB-Musume’s debut single sold a million copies, and we instantly became the number one group in the world.
But even so, there were still people who weren’t quite aware of us… Three suspicious people dressed all in black stood in the way of me and Kazuko!
“Hey! Kill her!” “Yes sir!”
DOKABAKAGGON! Kazuko died. “KAZUKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” I screamed. But Kazuko did not reply… “I have to do my best, for Kazuko’s sake too…” And that was how yet another flame began to burn in my heart.
“Ah, the weather’s nice today…”
After dieting at the pool, I was relaxing in the park, when suddenly three suspicious people dressed all in black stood in front of me.
”? Who are you guys?” “We’re the ones who killed Kazuko!” “!!!!”
I didn’t remember who Kazuko was, but I acted surprised, like an idol should.
“How could you have done that to Kazuko!! Hah, hahhh!!!!” I fired an energy ball. “Hmph. Barrier!” “!! What, how?!” “Time for you to die. Come on!” “NOOO!! Stop!! I was just about to go to the pool to lose some weight!!”
My desperate struggling was futile, and I was carried by the people in black to a car…
When I woke up, I was inside the car.
Looking closely, I could see the one driving was wearing the sailor suit uniform of the school I went to underneath their black coat.
”! You couldn’t be!!!” “That’s right… I’m LISA!!!” “!!!” Lisa… one of the three who was bullying me. Which meant…
“Then the other two… YOU COULDN’T BE!!” “That’s right… We’re YUI AND MAIKA!!!” “!!!” I could not forgive them. The ones who had killed… Kazubi? Kazuku? I forget, my good friend were still alive, and right in front of my eyes.
“I won’t let this stand!!!!!” BOOM!! “What are you doing?! Stop it!!” Lisa died. The car stopped. I got off. I was at the beach.
Blishhhhh. The waves went out and in. “This feels great…” I was at peace.
“Alright, I’m going to cross the sea and go to America! And then I’ll become a worldwide idol!”
Doing a butterfly stroke, I reached America in 38 seconds.
“IT’S NEEEEEEEEEEW YOOOOOOOOOORK!!”
I shouted, first things first.
“Okay, first to get a contract!” I asked around at a number of American entertainment offices. However…
“Ha ha! …Hah! How about that?!” “NO.” That was what everyone told me.
“Why is it, I wonder…?” I pouted on a park bench. I thought America would be a much kinder country… I began to detest the smallness of Americans’ hearts.
“Sigh…” “Hey, you! Aren’t you Kyouka Sanzan? I’m Alice! Nice to meet you!” “You too!” “I think your abilities are VERY GOOD! So I want to scout for you! Alright?” “Okay?” “Then come to Alice Offices!”
So I went to Alice Offices.
“Is this the office?”
To be honest, it was a room too tiny and filthy for me to consider it an office. Then Alice suddenly ripped off her face.
BREE!! “!! You’re!!!” “That’s right… I’m YUI!!!” I killed her.
“Yes! Today forth, these are MY offices! ♪ I’ll do my best!!” I changed my attitude and strove to do better in America. As the group “AKB47 in America”!
And then, it was voting day. Who would take first place this year? Of course, I knew that I would be number one, but…
“And now!! What’s this?! ………. In second place!!!!! Team A, Kyouka Sanzan!!!!!” “Wha…” “And in first place, the winner is KAZUKO SAITOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!” “!!!!” Kazuko Saitou was alive.
“I won’t let this stand!!! FUNGAH!!!!” “That didn’t work.” “! WHY?!?!” “I only teamed up with you to help my own popularity… I was USING you!!” “No way!!” “I had those malicious three attack you as part of my plans, too!! After all, they’re my underlings!!” “That’s awful!!” “Maika!! Come here!!’ “Okay.” Maika appeared. Maika was fat.
“Maika-san!! Let’s go to the pool and diet!!” “Okay!!” So we returned to Japan and became pool diet buddies.
“One-two, one-two…” “…”
Even with the pool diet, Maika didn’t lose any weight at all. Even though I’d gotten down to 32 kilograms…
“Don’t cry, Maika!” “Boohoo… boo… I mean… boohoo… sniff…”
Since Marika [sic] was so fat and ugly, I explained the situation to the AKB47 manager.
“So that’s how things are… Isn’t there any way of slimming her down?” “Nope.” “!!”
So I decided to ignore Maika and leave her behind. I changed my email address, my phone number, my residence, everything. I knew it was for the best.
AKB47 had gotten into drama work lately. But that was better suited for lower members - higher-up members like me would only play lead roles. However, ratings were poor and AKB’s image took a major dip, so the high-ranking members didn’t get any drama work.
BRBUBUBUBUBUB!! BRBUBUBUBUBUB!!! “Yes, AKB47 offices… …Wha?! You’re asking Sanzan to play the lead role?! Yes, of course! I’m so glad! Please do!”
“Kyouka-chan, you’re going to be in a TV drama! In the main role!!” “Huh?! Really?! I’m so happy!” I was so happy that I took a sitz bath while eating peperoncino while doing the Cossack dance.
“Kyouka-chan, the drama you’re in is a romance, and, uh… He’s the one playing your lover.” “Ah! Hi there.”
The man who appeared was wearing a backpack, had his shirt tucked in, and was about as fat as Maika.
“GROSS!!!” I was an honest person, so I told him exactly what was on my mind. And… “You’re mean!! You’re making me cry!!!!” He began to cry.
I was perplexed by how filthy he was, and the manager came out. “That’s enough. You’re fired.” “Huh?” “We’re already preparing a stand-in, so please leave.” “Wait, WAAAAAIT!!!!!!!!” KABOOM!! The man stamped his feet. “Ahhh! Earthquaaake!!!” DOSHARUMBLE. The drama was canceled.
Suddenly, waves of calls were coming in about the event.
“Why is the AKB TV drama being canceled?!” “I heard Sanzan-san got the director angry!!” “What’s really going on here?!”
“SHUT UP!!!!!” I roared. “It wasn’t me, it was that stupid fat guy!!! That fat guy was all WAAAH WAAAAH KABOOM KABOOM DOSHARUMBLE!! You got that?!”
“Sure… okay…” The callers made an memo of the fact that the fat guy had gone waaah waaah, kaboom kaboom, dosharumble. It was reported on the news, and knowledge of the major disappointment that was the AKB drama’s cancellation spread…
And then, I got a phone call from my sister.
“Ah, hell?” “Geez, it’s not “hell.” It’s “hello,” come on.” “Um, here at home, like, we’re running soup low on money.” “Geez, “soup low on money”? You mean “super low on money”?” “Won’t you lend us some? Things are, like, literally bad this month.” “That’s not what “literally” means. Say “extremely bad”! Anyway sure, I’ll lend you some.” I lent her 10 million yen. “Thabyebye!” Poo-poo-poo.
I was very happy that my sister was depending on me.
But then I realized. “Hah… AKB hasn’t been very popular lately, so it’s no time to be lending money… *CENSORED*!!!!!!!” KABOOM!!! I caused an earthquake.
“Ahhh! Earthquaaake!!!” My sister died, so I took back the 10 million yen.
“Sister…” I decided I would do my best for my departed sister. As part of the proud AKB47!
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot post attachments in this forum