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 Post subject: a cute (?) love story
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 6:08 am 
Sergeant Major
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Spoiler:
[Help!] The Girl I Like Won’t Respond to My Emails (´・ω・`)
A tale from 2ch of girls, emails, and hamsters. (Posts from the thread-starter are labeled #OP, the people replying to him are labeled #2ch.)

#OP
There’s this girl I’ve had feelings for since high school, and now we’re in college together. We’ll call her Denko.
Once we hit second year, we went out drinking, and I worked up the courage to exchange numbers.
We started out talking often, but she hasn’t answered me in three days now.
I’m getting depressed just thinking that Denko might be sick, or that something happened to her… (´・ω・`)
Please, somebody give me some advice.

#2ch
SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU.
GIVE IT UP.

#2ch
Maybe it’s ‘cause email’s a pain in the butt.

#OP
Well, I called her too in case she was sick or something happened… (´・ω・`)

Maybe this last email I sent did something to hurt Denko’s feelings? Give me your opinion here…
“Yahoo! Good weather today. You haven’t emailed me or called me, so I’m just sending this since I’m worried.
Did I do something bad? PS. The stars were pretty last night.”

#2ch
[RAMEN POSTS]

#OP
Wh… This isn’t a thread about ramen, okay?!
I’m begging you, I need advice!
I haven’t slept for an entire day…

#2ch
Just hypothetically, what would you think if you got an email like that from an ugly girl you don’t have any interest in?

#OP
Umm… Well, I wouldn’t like it.
But I’ve had my eye on Denko since high school, and…
I don’t know how to say it, but I think it might be mutual… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Pretty sure she hates you and is too shy to say it… ///

#2ch
I’ll divine OP and his girl’s love from her birthday.
Post OP’s birthday too, if possible.

#OP
My birthday’s March 10th, Denko’s is September 7th…

#2ch
To be perfectly honest, your emails sound incredibly shifty.
That’s why everyone is talking about ramen instead…

#OP
Sorry, I haven’t had much experience talking to girls… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
So you got responses before?
What kind of emails are you sending?
It could be, you know, interesting…

#OP
At first, we just talked about how strange it was we only started emailing in college despite being in the same year of high school.
What I’m sending… well, I’m worried about her lack of reply, so I’ve sent her around 600 emails.
They’re mostly reports on my current mental state, I guess…? (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Sending 600 emails out of worry from the lack of response… How spammy can you get…

#OP
Don’t make fun of me, okay!
I don’t have any friends, so you’re the only people I can ask about this!

#2ch
…(゜д゜)

#OP
600 emails and still no reply, so I’m really thinking something might have happened… (´・ω・`)
And I really don’t think they’re anything that would displease her. They’re like this:
“I’m drinking jasmine tea right now, thinking about what to have for dinner.”
Maybe they’re a bit too incidental?

#2ch
Troll sighted.
And if you’re not? Give it up.

#2ch
Knows he doesn’t have any friends.
Oozes human filth right down to his emoticons.
And sending 600 emails in three days is stalker-level creepy…

#OP
Alright, alright, maybe people think I’m creepy!
But even so, I’m really, honestly in love with this girl!
You understand, right? I’ll try not to be as creepy about it from now on!
So please, give me advice on how to get Denko to respond!

#2ch
You seriously sent 600 emails in three days? lol

#OP
Well, I think it was only around 50 the first two days… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Why wouldn’t she respond if she wasn’t dumping you?
If something happened, maybe her power went out!
Try calling her up, it should at least get her attention.

#OP
All right, I’ll try calling her. But I’m awful at talking, so give me something to talk about.

#2ch
I want to see what your conversations were like when you got replies.

#OP
Me: “What do you do for fun? What do you listen to? I like watching lots of movies and reading lots of books, I guess… (´・ω・`)”
Denko: “Umm, I dunno. You sure use a lot of emoticons, huh?”
That sort of thing.

#2ch
LOL, wow did she cut things short…
Did it ever go on any longer than that?

#OP
Me: “Do girls do the thing where you turn socks inside-out to use them for a week?”
Denko: “No, that’s too dirty. I usually wash them after a day.”
Me: “Well, Denko’s socks can’t possibly be dirty! Unlike mine… (´・ω・`)”
Denko: “Do you really wear the same socks for a week?”
Me: “No, uh, I heard about it from a friend.”

Like that.

#OP
I’M CALLING HER NOW

#OP
SHE’S ON

#2ch
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, DENKO!!

#OP
OH GOD I WAS SO NERVOUS I PANICKED AND HUNG UP ON HER (´;ω;`)

#2ch
The cherry blossoms! Invite her to go see the cherry blossoms, OP!!!

#OP
Okay, I’ll do that! I’m too tense to use the phone right now, so I’ll send her an email.

I’ve never been so nervous about talking to somebody aaaaaUUUUUGH (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Oh for the love of… apologize for hanging up.
This’ll be your last chance.

#OP
Ohh… do you really want me to call her again?
I sent her an email saying I knew I shouldn’t have hung up, and my heart just wasn’t ready…

#2ch
God damn, I’ve never seen such a revolting sack of crap.
I’ve got a good idea of why you can’t get Denko, or any friends period.

I’m guessing you’ve been bullied all your life?

#OP
I was bullied in grade school, but I’ve been fine since college.

#2ch
(´・ω・`) ← This is starting to piss me off.

#2ch
This should go down as one of the most terrifying incidents to occur on 2chan.

#2ch
Here you go, OP.
1. What classes are you taking?
2. I’m bored -> Can we go see the cherry blossoms at night?

#OP
Oh! You must be popular, huh? (´・ω・`)
Okay, I’m going to try calling again with that.

My armpits are sweating real bad, though…

#OP
YSEYESYES

#2ch
What is this, a romance board?

#2ch
Are you willing to call this romance? lol

#2ch
I had a stalker once too, but it’s even scarier to think he had the same thought processes as this guy.
600 emails? You gotta be trolling. Please tell me that’s a troll.

#OP
I TALKED WITH DENKO! And I invited her to see the cherry blossoms!
Apparently her schedule was packed at work, so she said some other time! Oh well, still good news!
Gotta buy some clothes now… (´・ω・`) Hurry hurry…

I accidentally told her about how I was sweating really bad, haha…
And she said she was sorry she was too busy to reply to my emails. (´・ω・`)
For now, I’m glad Denko is safe. I was worried what might happen since I’m so bad at talking to girls, but I guess I managed…

#2ch
You’re serious.

#2ch
>She said some other time!
>She said some other time!
>She said some other time!

#2ch
WHY ARE YOU GOING CLOTHES SHOPPING IF YOU GOT REJECTED

there is sUCH A THING AS BEING TOO OPTIMISTIC??

#2ch
“Some other time” = “never talk to me again you creep”

#2ch
Okay, she hates you, no doubt.

#2ch
Oh, OP…
If this isn’t a troll, please, give this up now.

#OP
Are you guys trying to trick me since I don’t have much experience with girls?
I’m wondering when I should send another email… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
What were your meetings with Denko like?
What made you fall for her?

#OP
Denko helped me out when I was being badly bullied in high school.
Denko’s smart and kind, so she was like everyone’s role model.
When I sat next to her in class, I often borrowed her notebooks and erasers and we became friends.
We made eye contact a lot in class, too… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
That’s probably because you were the one looking, creep.

Absolutely despicable. After 600 emails, even if she DID like you before, you’ve ruined it.

#OP
I SENT 600 EMAILS BECAUSE THERE WAS A CHANCE SOMETHING HAPPENED AND I WAS WORRIED.
I’m telling the truth here, okay?
Anyway, a reply!! I’m kind of scared to read it, haha…

#2ch
You’re hopeless. Find out her house and her workplace.
Girls love overbearing go-getter guys.
OP, do this if you can: Follow her to her work, her house, and her classes every day.

#OP
THAT’S JUST BEING A STALKER (´・ω・`)
I don’t want Denko to hate me… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
>I don’t want Denko to hate me
>I don’t want Denko to hate me
>I don’t want Denko to hate me

#2ch
I know I’D hate you.

#2ch
Serious post here.
If you don’t get a reply after three times, stop.
If she’s making excuses about work and busyness, she really doesn’t like you.

She’s only not saying it because she thinks it would hurt you.
Denko getting 600 emails from a guy who isn’t even her boyfriend is no doubt going to scare her.
But she’s probably a nice girl if she isn’t admitting it.

There are people out there who just can’t be blunt.
So stop it, please.

#2ch
Even from a boyfriend, 600 emails in three days is scary.

#2ch
Giving girls small animals as presents makes them most happy. ^^
Stuff thirty hamsters in a box and send them to her house, and she’ll be so surprised she’ll fall for OP in a flash!
So yeah, I think a thirty-hamster present would be good. ^^

#2ch
Girls love to get clothes. The price of clothes and their attraction to you are directly proportional.

#OP
Oh geez, I don’t think I could afford that…
Anyway, we’re making plans for four of us to get together!
I’m so grateful! And so tense! Oh my god….

#2ch
What clothes do you own?

#OP
Plain shirts I wore in high school, and some denim shorts my mom got at Yokado.
Also, I guess I wear sweatjackets a lot.
I wonder if I can get clothes in Harajuku? (´・ω・`)

#2ch
OP’s a super cool guy.
His girl’s just shy.
It’s true love, man.

#OP
The contents of her reply:
I’m not really sure what to say, but sorry I was too busy to reply to your emails.
My schedule is probably too packed to see the cherry blossoms this year. *crying emoticon*
Oh, also, I saw your brother on TV again! [He’s a former actor]
My friend says she wants to go drinking with your brother, me, and you. What do you think?

#2ch
I was wondering this whole time why Denko didn’t reject the OP, but now I think I know.

#OP
Looks like we’re going drinking tomorrow!
Gotta buy clothes now… (´・ω・`)
Would a suit and a necktie be safe?

#2ch
Didn’t she say she was busy?

Don’t you find that weird that she’s suddenly good for tomorrow?

#OP
Well, she’s free in the evening, and cherry blossoms would be in the day, so it’s possible?

#OP
Do you think I should bring a present?
Tell me what would make girls happy… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
No, no presents.
If you bring a present every time, Denko’ll just think OP’s her personal ATM.
Don’t do it, for the future of OP and Denko both.

#OP
I see… So not even a picture of a small animal? (´・ω・`)

Konaka’s open, so I’m gonna go buy a striped suit.

#2ch
A picture? Don’t be silly…
Feeling the warmth of a little creature makes a woman’s heart tremble. Buy hamsters. Nothing but hamsters.
Then stuff them in a box, of course.

#OP
I went to email my brother about trying to be free tomorrow night, but he changed his address and number… (´・ω・`)
I’m asking my mom about it now.

#2ch
OP, girls love sweet things too.
So once you’ve got your hamsters packed into a box, sprinkle the hamsters with about 10 kg of sugar until they’re hidden.
1. Girl opens box and can see nothing but sugar.
2. Hamster leaps out from sugar.
3. Girl is surprised! But hamsters are cute. Heart!
4. OP is so clever. Love! Heart.

Got it? Get to it, OP!

#2ch
Reading this thread reminds me that there are people like this, and reassures me that I’m doing just fine.

#OP
Well, I emailed Denko saying I wasn’t able to get a hold of my brother.
Nothing to really report while I’m waiting for her reply… (´・ω・`)

#OP
ALSO YOU GUYS CALLING ME CREEPY AND HOPELESS ARE REALLY MAKING ME LOSE CONFIDENCE. (´・ω・`)

#2ch
>implying you had confidence before

#OP
Still no reply, so I’m going to send another one.
Post 400 decides the title.

#OP
Actually, you’ll probably say something weird, so never mind. (´・ω・`)

#2ch
You’re being a pest if you send more than three emails without a reply.
Also, you should learn how to carry a conversation.
Stop trying to push yourself and listen to her more.

#OP
What should I ask? I’ve never talked with girls…
I don’t know what I should talk about… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
You’ve got a completely wrong idea of what “listen” means.

“Listening” is not “questioning.”
What he was trying to say is that you shouldn’t talk about yourself, but listen to what she says.

Also, I said it before, but just be mature and wait if there’s no reply. Patience, man.

#OP
Well, I told Denko to email me when she has the time.
Also, I invited her to just have three of us go if my brother can’t come. (´・ω・`)

#2ch
His brother is definitely looking like the real target here…

#OP
Reading all these responses again, I realize it’s like 70% abuse and 30% ramen…
I knew I was getting teased for not having any romantic experience, but I didn’t quite realize it was that bad…
It’s a bit of a shock… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Screw you guys. OP’s persistence should be COMMENDED.

Sending massive amounts of emails out of worry!
Buying clothes to improve his appearance!

And I say try even harder!
Send 1000 emails a day!
Girls love men who worry about them!

#OP
Oh! A serious reply at last! (´・ω・`)
Yes, I’ll try my hardest! Thanks for the uplifting comments!

I just emailed Denko about what kinds of clothes she likes men to wear.
Uh oh, I wonder if she’ll figure out I like her…

#2ch
You really must be an aspie if you thought that was serious…

#OP
Oh, since you guys call me creepy and scary, I’m wondering if I should send an email asking if I’m scary… (´・ω・`)
Do people send emails like that?

#2ch
I guess, maybe…
If you don’t at least ask, you might not be able to face each other.
Give it a shot.

#OP
I sent it. Can’t wait for the reply… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Let’s think about this sensibly.

If I heard an email alert going off several hundred times a day…
Yeah, I’d call the police.

#OP
Well, I’d be happy if I got that many emails from her… (´・ω・`)

#OP
Still no reply… What do I do?
I’m getting worried… (´・ω・`)

But everyone seems to say I should let her send emails to me and just reply to those.
It’s really irritating, though. What makes girls happy?

#2ch
YOU NOT EMAILING HER WOULD BE GREAT

#OP
Hey! Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

If you’re all so experienced with love, maybe that’s why you don’t understand how I feel…

#OP
I got an email from Denko!
“Maybe a little scary…”
Only a little is okay, right?
I want to make sure there’s no misunderstanding… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
If you want to clear up misunderstanding, send an email.
“Sorry to scare you. But don’t misunderstand. I just want to be friends, Denko.”
Keep sending emails like that.

You’ve already sent over 600, so just sending one at this point would make you look insincere.
So send at least twenty.
Even that might be too few.

#OP
I don’t know about sending repeatedly, so I’ll just send this once:
“Sorry to scare you. But don’t misunderstand. I just want to be friends, Denko.”
Still, thanks!

#2ch
Whoa, man, think about it the other way around.

You’ve gotten 600 emails from Denko.
Butr all of a sudden, there’s just this one.
Wouldn’t you be uneasy?

If you don’t want to upset Denko, send more!

#OP
What exactly is scaring her, though?
I’m doing the best I can, but I don’t want to be called scary, not even “maybe a little” scary…
It’s really annoying me… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Even if she doesn’t want to say it, man you’re scary.

#OP
Yikes… Am I really that bad…? (´・ω・`)
It’s not like I want to punch people or kill people out of love for Denko, right?
Please, tell me something I can say to make her happy and not leave any misunderstandings.

#2ch
How about the new teriyaki burger at McDonald’s?

#OP
Okay, thanks! I just asked “Do you know if the new teriyaki burger at McDonald’s is good?”
But if I can really clear up misunderstanding by emailing Denko stuff like that, then my mood might start to turn around…

#OP
So many people have called me scary that I feel traumatized…
But all right, I’ll be careful not to make any more aggressive emails.
Thanks for the advice!!
You guys are so experienced, haha…

#2ch
I don’t think this has anything to do with experience…
Man, poor Denko.

#2ch
Experienced or not, I can’t comprehend how you don’t get things that everyone should know.

#2ch
I know where you’re coming from, unfortunately.

I’m kind of figuring the OP has played a lot of dating sims and such.
In those games, you need to take action for your bond to go up, but…
You can’t go into real life thinking it works that way…

#OP
Yes, you hit the bullseye.
I really have no clue how to handle three-dimensional women.

It’s so easy to confess in games, but so hard in three dimensions…
Now I know that all too well… (´・ω・`)

#OP
Actually… I’m starting to feel like it might be best for me to wholeheartedly confess to Denko.

Is that just me? (´・ω・`)

#2ch
It’s best that this ends soon.
Do it and be done with it.

#2ch
Geez, we told you not to be so forward…

But, maybe you should be more thoroughly crushed…

#OP
My hands are shaking at the idea of a confession email…
This might be a tough hurdle to overcome…

#OP
I’m trying to think about what to write, but other than “I love you,” I’m drawing a blank… (´・ω・`)

#OP
Subject: To Denko

Thinking on it now, our meeting was a cherry blossom blooming in high school.
And now, it’s spring again just the same.

Before I met you, Denko, I felt like I was in a cold winter.
But in the spring, you put a bud in my heart that would bloom into a great flower.
It’s been so long since we were in high school together, but my feelings are just the same as they were that spring.

You’ve helped me when I was bullied, haven’t you, Denko?
Back then, I thought, “Why does this girl not have the wings an angel should have?”
I suppose you must have left them in your mother’s stomach…

Even when we met eyes, I didn’t have the courage.
And we could never talk to each other.
But now, I’m different!
Denko, I know you may not want to marry me yet, but please, go out with me!

Well? (´・ω・`)

#2ch
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME

#2ch
Perfection.
Nothing can be done to improve it.

#2ch
This is worse than the love letter I wrote in fifth grade.

#2ch
I don’t even…

#OP
Well, I sent it. (´・ω・`)
Normally I’m very prudent, but today, with all of your encouragement, I’ve confessed.

If Denko and I start dating, I hope we can read this thread and laugh about it together… (´・ω・`)
Also, since I wanted to increase my chances, I added that no matter what happens, I won’t give up on her.

#2ch
oh god holy geez what in the

#2ch
STOP.
Your chances at dating sit at ZERO!
Jesus, man.

#OP
I GOT AN EMAIL FROM DENKOOOOO!!
I’m too scared to open it dskald;ksa
I guess now I know why everyone said I was scary…
This is making me super tense…
I’ll go wash my face, then look at it calmly… (´・ω・`)
I think I might just have a heart attack…

#OP
Um, she said “okay”… (´・ω・`)
Is this okay? Really?
I’m so happy I could cry…
This is okay, right?
I’m so stunned, I need your opinion…

#OP
She followed it up with “Don’t email me anymore.”
What’s this? And here I thought I knew her feelings…

Maybe dating was too sudden?
It’s hard for me to tell what girls are trying to get at… (´・ω・`)
Is this the fickle heart of a woman at work???
What’s the intent of this email? Someone interpret it… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Maybe “okay” was in reply to the McDonald’s teriyaki burger, so “don’t email me anymore” was in reply to the confession.

Which means you’re not dating.

#2ch
^ I like this interpretation.

#2ch
Well, let’s see..

“Your emails are freaking me out.
You’re an annoyance.
Please don’t send any more emails.”

…That seems about right.

#OP
If I’m understanding the situation right, I asked if we could date, and she replied selfishly to test me as a man? (´・ω・`)

But I mean, suddenly asking not to email her is REALLY selfish…
Maybe I should wait until her anger has settled?
Or should I try to calm her?

#2ch
No. Stop.
You’re not dating.
You asked “let’s date,” she replied “don’t email me anymore.”

#OP
Okay, I’ll call her, then.
Calling now.

#OP
Nope, guess she’s talking with someone… (´・ω・`)
I’ll wait a bit…

#2ch
oh god

#2ch
OBVIOUSLY SHE’S TELLING HER FRIENDS ABOUT HER NEW BOYFRIEND

#2ch
^ Bingo!

#2ch
^ You, sir, know the heart of a woman well.

#2ch
No doubt she’s waiting for you to call.
Try calling back once every minute.

#OP
I’m redialing as fast as I can! (´・ω・`)

Once I get a hold of her, I’ll ask if she wants to go to McDonald’s to have the teriyaki burger, and ask why she’s mad. (´・ω・`)
Anything else I should talk to her about?

#OP
No good, she’s still talking… (´・ω・`)
I really feel like she’s mad at me all of a sudden…

I’ll keep calling until she comes on!
I’ll report once she does. (´・ω・`) Bye!

#2ch
I’m really starting to read the “Help!” in the title as Denko’s screaming.

#OP
I can’t get a signal here… (´・ω・`)
Maybe she’s gotten wrapped up in some incident? What to do…

Maybe I’ll go to her house, but if we’re dating, then it’s not stalking, okay?! (´・ω・`)
I’m so lost…
Maybe she’s testing to see if I’d come to save her if something happened?

#2ch
We’ve got a Sherlock Holmes on our hands.

#2ch
Spoilers: Denko is wrapped up in an incident, all right. A stalking incident.

#OP
Make up your minds already! (´・ω・`)
Making me overthink this isn’t going to do any good…

I’m going to get ready so I can leave anytime…

#OP
Okay, okay! I’ll go!!
If she’s safe, then it’ll be fine! (´・ω・`)
It’s about 30 minutes to her house, so I’ll take my bicycle.
I’ll report back! Thanks for the advice!

#OP
I just got back, sorry for the late report… (´・ω・`)

I hurried to Denko’s house and rang the doorbell.
Then Denko’s mother came out and said Denko was out of the house.
I introduced myself to her and told her I was going out with Denko, so she said “If you want, you can wait and have some tea until Denko gets back.”
So then I waited for Denko at her house with her mom… (´・ω・`)

#OP
I spent about ten hours talking with Denko’s mother about Denko in high school and her personality and such, but she didn’t come home.
Her mother called Denko’s cellphone a bunch of times, but she couldn’t get through.
Late at night, her mother told me “I’ll give you a call when Denko comes home,” and so I went home. Sorry for the long explanation. (´・ω・`)
Apparently Denko’s out having fun with a friend, so I’m relieved to hear she’s okay.
Also, Denko’s mother was just as nice as her, which surprised me.
I guess Denko takes after her mother… (´・ω・`)
So now I’m waiting for a call about Denko coming home.

#OP
It looks like Denko still isn’t back…
If the thread’s still here when she gets back, I’ll report in… (´・ω・`)


Then the thread hit 1000 posts and closed. The saga went on for several more threads, but I probably won’t bother with them, as they don’t really seem as… amusing as the first one.

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 Post subject: Re: a cute (?) love story
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 6:20 am 
Second Lieutenant
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I loved this. Absolutely. Loved this.

Ah...haha, brings up some good memories of my first relationship. :) Shy and unconfident has always been the last adjective someone would describe me with, I've done public speaking, lead a bunch of organizations at school, tons of debate, acting, etc. And then I meet this girl, and I can't think of a single thing to say. And later on, when we got more intimate, got condemned for not being confident enough. :P

Props to OP. Aister, what ended up happening to that guy?

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 Post subject: Re: a cute (?) love story
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 6:38 am 
Sergeant Major
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unfortunately... the OP who posted this convo on some site (can't say the site since it's NSFW) is not posting more :/

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 Post subject: Re: a cute (?) love story
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 6:44 am 
Sergeant Major
Sergeant Major
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Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:48 am
Posts: 7996
Location: Fuyuki City
Gender: male
wait actually I found the one where he reposted from (yeah, my repost is a repost of a repost). And I have more for ya :3

Spoiler:
#OP
I don’t have any romantic experience, so I’m not too sure, but this girl I just started dating yesterday emailed me saying not to email her.
And now I can’t get a hold of her. What do you think it could be? (´・ω・`)
Was there an incident? Is she fickle? Did she have an accident? Is she testing me?
Like I said, I’m not experienced, so please give me advice.

#2ch
(´・ω・`) Are you sure you were dating to begin with?

#OP
No, we’re definitely dating! (´・ω・`)
I’ve been in the same class as her since high school, and we went to the same college, and became friends over email.
And just yesterday we started dating! (´・ω・`)
I’ve never been on a date with a girl before, so I’m not sure what to think…

#2ch
First things first, shoot her some emails. About 600 should be good.

#2ch
DON’T EMAIL HER!!!

#2ch
Um, just wondering… is this “girlfriend” little more than a figment of your imagination?

#OP
Well, I confessed to her and she said “sure,” but right afterward she said not to email her.
Even I don’t fully understand the situation… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Going off of these other replies… yeah, you’re a stalker.
She only unwillingly said yes because she was terrified of you.

#OP
I’VE ONLY SENT 70 EMAILS SO FAR.
I had plans to call her yesterday, so I’m just confused… (´・ω・`)
Maybe I should call her house?

#2ch
Getting 70 emails in a day from someday I don’t like would bring me to gross sobbing.

#2ch
ARE YOU THE 600-EMAIL GUY FROM YESTERDAY?

#2ch
Didn’t she say she was busy with work?
Go ask her work about it.

#2ch
Somebody explain what happened yesterday, after the part where he didn’t know his brother’s contact info.

#2ch
^ OP emailed Denko a ton.
She didn’t reply, he confessed his love.
Right after, Denko replied “sure.”
But it was apparently a reply from before the confession, and afterward he got an email saying “don’t email me anymore.”
And yet, in the OP’s mind, Denko is already his girlfriend.

#2ch
Are you for real?
If I was Denko, I’d be horrified and depressed.

#2ch
Who has the time to reply to that many emails?
Think about her feelings, you (Want to be allies? Sometimes I like to pretend I am a princess riding a pony..).

#2ch
(´・ω・`) What is this guy even talking about?

#2ch
Denko’s crying her eyes out.

#OP
Other than being a virgin, I’m a relatively ordinary guy. (´・ω・`)
Is there any way to force her into getting in contact with me?
I went to her house once and talked with her mother, and she said she’d call once Denko came home.
But I’m uneasy since it seems like she still isn’t home…

#2ch
Ordinary guys… don’t send 600 emails in three days when there’s no reply…

#OP
I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT, OKAY.
I realized it was a bit excessive after you all told me so… (´・ω・`)
I’ve sent 70 emails so far, but that’s just one every ten minutes, so I think I’m good… (´・ω・`)

#OP
I’m waiting at a cafe near her house to see if she passes by, but I haven’t seen her.
It’s in front of the station that goes to school, so she must take this route…

I just want to know the truth in this unclear situation…
I like her so much, but I feel like I’ve been betrayed… (´・ω・`)

[The love letter is reposted and someone requests the previous thread be summarized, so it is.]

#2ch
This just makes me feel terrible.
I feel so sorry for that girl.

#2ch
I don’t think she said “sure” to the confession. Who would say “sure” to that?

#OP
Come ooon, guys, stop calling me creepy!
I know you like to joke around, but I’m heartbroken here, so I’m taking it seriously… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
You’re too self-conscious.
Try a little harder and she’ll see your love.

#2ch
Sorry, but I wasn’t joking.
YOU ARE A HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING CREEP.

#2ch
gOD

#2ch
That thread from yesterday…?
Are you really the same guy?
And what do you mean you “went on a date”?
Tell me what “happened” there.

#2ch
So he never got his brother’s address, huh?
If he can’t get in contact with his brother, OP is done. DONE.

#OP
I asked my mother for my brother’s phone number yesterday, but he doesn’t seem to want to talk to me.
Talk about rude! We’re family… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
When’s your birthday, OP? She might be preparing a surprise! Consider it!

#OP
It’s March 10th… [Which was about a month ago.]

What do you guys do when you fight with your girlfriends?
I’d like to know for reference… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Have you tried waiting in front of her house?
Make sure to hide so no one sees you.

#OP
Of course I thought about doing that, but I decided against it, since really, isn’t that stalkery?
So I decided to wait for her in the cafe instead… (´・ω・`)
No matter what road she takes, she’ll pass through here, so she can’t go anywhere.

#2ch
And you think sending 600 emails in a couple days isn’t stalkery…

#2ch
Well, I’m a girl… Did you actually fight?
Some girls will get mad and say “I’m mad! Don’t email me!”, so she might be indirectly telling you she’s mad.

#OP
I figured she might be mad…
But, well, do girls sometimes fake being mad to see if their boyfriends really love them? (´・ω・`)

#2ch
His brother’s a former actor, FYI.
Assuming he’s not just making that up, I deeply pity that man…

Soon enough, he’s going to have to apologize for his relative’s crimes.

#OP
I SAID I’M NOT A STALKER!
Haven’t any of you ever waited for a girl you’re not dating?
And a husband who waits for his wife at the station isn’t a stalker, is he?

When I meet her, I think it might be best not to harshly question her or get mad, but to calmly embrace her… (´・ω・`)
Advice, pleeease…

#2ch
ROFL

#2ch
Uh, maybe if you have mutual trust…
But even if you’re lovers, stalking is stalking!
If a boyfriend or girlfriend gets stalkery, the other will want to break up…

#2ch
Man! She’s totally waiting for you to come meet her!
She doesn’t want you to email her or call her, just to come by, so forget it!
She’s testing you for sure.
Take up her challenge!

#OP
I guess you’re right. (´・ω・`)
I’ll try going to her house! Thanks for the advice!

#OP
Well, actually, I’m fifty-fifty on going or not going now that I think about it… (´・ω・`)
I’ve been sort of panicking since yesterday, so I can’t tell which is the right thing to do.

If I’m really a stalker like you say, then what will happen to my relationship with Denko? I’m scared…

#2ch
Is there even a “relationship” between you?
Or is it just a lot of her hating you?

#2ch
Ignore these dumbass trolls who say you’re not dating, or that you’re a stalker.
That’s just the kind of tripe you get on 2chan.
Send her another 50 emails, buddy.

#2ch
You should go!
She’s just being shy.

#OP
Sorry I haven’t been replying much, but I’m just thinking I might miss her passing the station while I’m typing…

#OP
Okay, I made the trip! (´・ω・`)
It looks like I’m not going to get everything cleared up unless I meet her in person.

Going to ring the doorbell now…

#OP
I rang the doorbell, but nobody showed up.
I realized it might be possible her mom was out and she was in the bath.
And we haven’t kissed yet, so seeing her naked already would probably be rude… (´・ω・`)
Plus I concluded that even if she came out in a bathrobe, I’d never seen a girl like that before, so I wouldn’t be able to talk well.
So finally, I thought I’d leave a note in the mailbox.
I bought some paper at the store and I’m thinking about what to write… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
If you’re writing a letter, you better include a bouquet with it.

#2ch
If she doesn’t want to say anything mean, then I’ll have to. Just… get away from her, now.
Ugh. Christ.

#2ch
A long time ago, I got my girlfriend mad over a little thing, and just like the OP, she yelled at me not to contact her.
So I went straight to her house, apologized sincerely, hugged her, and patted her head.
After that, we had a good meal, drank at a fancy bar, and everything was just dandy.

First things first, hug her and pat her head, and make sure to apologize.
Good luck, Mr. Boyfriend!

#OP
I GOT AN EMAIL BUT I’M TOO SCARED TO OPEN IT.
What if she says she’s breaking up with me? (´・ω・`)
My hands are trembling at the negative things it could be…

#OP
Subject: Were you at my house?

Contents:
N/A

D… Does this mean she was in the bath and couldn’t come to the door? (´・ω・`)
Then was I wise to look into the house, but avoid the bathroom in case things went awry?

#2ch
Come on, lover boy, you’re lovers!
Tell her you came by to see Denko’s hot bod.
Gotta have humor in a lasting relationship, man.

#2ch
You’re hiding in your house, Denko…?
You poor thing… I hope she has a friend to stay beside her…

#2ch
Subject: I was!
Contents: I was worried that I couldn’t contact you, my beloved Denko.
Since we’re dating now, I just wanted to see your face, you know?
Well, I’m still very close by, so can we stick together today?

Go with that.
Gotta be natural inviting her on a date. Flow like water.

#OP
Thanks! My brain doesn’t work when I’m panicking like this, so that’s a big help.
I’ll send that.

#OP
You know, I rang the doorbell a bunch of times thinking Denko wasn’t there…
Do you think she thinks I’m rude? (´・ω・`)

#2ch
You’re done, dude.

#2ch
Mashing the doorbell, dear god…
This is a troll, right? Just tell me, I can’t take it.

#2ch
I’m seriously scared right now…

#2ch
- Stupid emoticon
- Late-ass replies
- Doesn’t know what the hell
- Ignores actually useful replies
- Sounds like a dumbass

This guy pisses me off.

#2ch
^ SOUNDS like a dumbass?

#OP
Waiting for her reply for now. (´・ω・`)
Romance is making for a rollercoaster of emotions…
I’ve never had such huge shifts in feelings before.
You’re the only real people I can talk with since I don’t have friends, but I’ve glad I have you.
Thanks to those who are supporting me and giving advice… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
I can tell Denko’s just tsundere, man.
Gotta embrace her to bring out that dere, OP.

#OP
I’m late saying this, but I went back to Denko’s house.
Since I got an email, I figure she must be out of the bath by now… (´・ω・`)

Well, I’ll report once we meet! Buh-bye!

#2ch
Eep…

#OP
Sorry, I needed time to figure out the situation…
I went to Denko’s house, rang the doorbell, and Denko’s mom came out.
And she said “If you come by again, I’ll call the police!”
Which of these do you think it could be?

A: Denko’s mother is opposed to me and Denko going out.
B: Her mother misinterprets me as being a stalker.
C: She’s mad about me ringing a bunch of times earlier.

Those are the three possibilities I can think of… (´・ω・`)
I’m still kind of shocked her mom’s mad at me…

#2ch
Or D: Denko has you pinned as a stalker.
If she’s as cute as you say, she must have a boyfriend.
You gotta embrace her as hard as you can to relieve her.

#2ch
Better email Denko to make sure.

#2ch
Don’t you already know, deep down inside?
Little Denko’s just being shy!
Hah, her mother must be misunderstanding why she’s red-faced in her room…
Explain it to her and she’ll understand!

#2ch
D: Her mom isn’t misunderstanding, you ARE a stalker.

Because, you know. You are.

#OP
For now, I’m calling Denko’s cellphone.
If I don’t talk to her soon, there are only going to be more misunderstandings.

If she thinks I’m weird too, I’m gonna feel terrible… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
uuuggGGGHHHH WHY DO YOU NOT REALIZE YOU WERE DONE AFTER SENDING HER 600 EMAILS?????

#OP
I can’t stop crying over how miserable I am… (´・ω・`)
I’m crying looking into the computer screen, but still thinking about passersby giving me weird looks, which makes me cry even more…
Love really is hard…

#OP
I think crying it all out helped.
Thinking about it, Denko hasn’t said anything to me straight.
So it’s her mother who’s shady… (´・ω・`)
But if she calls the police, my life is over, so I need a way to meet Denko without involving her mom…

#2ch
Stake out behind her house.
If Denko comes to the window, knock on it and you’re good.

#OP
I don’t want to take unnecessary risks.
Really, waiting in front of the station is best, but I think I’ll lose if it’s a war of attrition… (´・ω・`)
But something similarly romantic to what the guy above me said might be good…

#2ch
It’s like (Want to be allies? Sometimes I like to pretend I am a princess riding a pony..) Romeo and Juliet, man.
You can even throw rocks if Denko’s room is on the second floor.

#OP
Gonna go check Denko’s house! Buh-bye!

#2ch
(Want to be allies? Sometimes I like to pretend I am a princess riding a pony..)

#2ch
Don’t tell me OP was arrested… was he?

#2ch
POLICE END. I knew it.

#2ch
GJ, OP! I look forward to your next work!

#OP
Back home for now. (´・ω・`)

I went to her house and looked for Denko’s room.
I saw a curtain move inside, so I peeked behind it and met eyes with Denko.
Then she immediately screamed “MOM!!” and I instinctively fled.
So yeah, I’m at home now… (´;ω;`)

#2ch
Damn, dude, you’re done. Give yourself up.

#2ch
Man, why did you RUN?

Think about how SHE feels!

#OP
Isn’t it awful? I just don’t get it…
Am I being played with? Why does the person most important to me have to trample on my feelings?
I know that all her feelings must have turned to hate now…
She’s really getting upset with me… (´・ω・`)
I punched a wall really hard and now my hand hurts too… This is the worst…

#2ch
If it were me, I’d go back and make sure to talk with her. Or better yet, give her a letter written in my own blood.
Write in your own blood and she’ll know it’s true.

#2ch
^ Now THAT’s romantic.

#OP
Contents:
Don’t call me or email me anymore, please.
I’m sorry, but I’m really, really scared.
If there’s been a misunderstanding, then I apologize.
But this is my last email. Please don’t contact me again, I’m begging you.

What does this mean…? (´・ω・`)
I’ve been thinking about it for a good while now and I’m just not sure…

#2ch
It means “DON’T CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.”

#2ch
Her mother is a wicked woman.
Don’t be fooled, OP.

#2ch
You’re still only banned from phone calls and emails.
Do you have a carrier pigeon?

#2ch
>Don’t call me or email me anymore, please.
In short, don’t associate with her.

>I’m sorry, but I’m really, really scared.
She’s afraid of the things you’re doing.

>If there’s been a misunderstanding, then I apologize.
You apparently think Denko likes you, OP, but she doesn’t like you at all.

#2ch
You’re being tested, OP.

Are you really going to give up here?

Is this truly the extent of your love?

#2ch
OP’s love is so pure, I don’t think I could possibly imitate it.

#2ch
I’m guessing this is what the OP thinks:

>Don’t call me or email me anymore, please.
She wants to meet me in person! (´・ω・`)
>I’m sorry, but I’m really, really scared.
Denko must be in danger… I’ve got to help her! (´・ω・`)
>If there’s been a misunderstanding, then I apologize.
We’ve repaired our friendship. Now we’ll always be together! (´・ω・`)
>But this is my last email. Please don’t contact me again, I’m begging you.
Yep, definitely wants to meet in person! (´・ω・`)

#2ch
^ Terrifyingly… accurate…

#OP
My mind is a blank.
What does Denko want to become of our relationship?
I want to meet her face to face, but…
Oh, and my power cut out again… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
So, this is a troll, right?
If not, then go turn yourself in to the police, OP.

#2ch
This has taught me a lot about the mentality of a stalker.

#OP
I AM SO AFRAID OF DENKO REJECTING ME. (´・ω・`)
At this point, I’m not sure if it’s possible to get the happy end that everyone wants…

I’m trying to think of an email to send Denko, but my mind’s been a blank.

#2ch
Don’t send anything.

If you see her at school, tell her you’re really sorry for troubling her! Okay?!

#2ch
What everyone wants is Denko’s safety.
Just leave Denko alone.
She must be so confused…

#2ch
That… everyone… wants…

#2ch
Uh. What everyone wants is OP BEHIND BARS!!

#2ch
“The happy end that everyone wants”…? What planet does this kid live on?

#OP
All you guys hating me is getting annoying…
I’m afraid I might be brainwashed by this place… (´・ω・`)
I’m going to ignore 2ch’s opinions and write an email with my heartfelt feelings!

#2ch
If you like Denko, then don’t send it. I’m serious.

Stop giving her reasons to despise you!

#2ch
And he doesn’t even know why he was bullied in school.

#OP
Subject: This Is How I Feel

Contents:
I’m sorry for making you worry.
I would never consider killing or raping you, Denko, so don’t worry. Is that what you thought I would do?
Now, I want you to take what I’m saying seriously.
I really, truly love you, Denko.
I think I would be willing to die for you, Denko.
I’ve always been trying to ensure your happiness first.
And I don’t think my feelings for you will ever change.
It’s very unfortunate things got like this right after we started dating, but we can start over.
That would be great, wouldn’t it?
Remember what I said when I confessed to you?
I still feel the way I did back then…

Well, I sent this. (´・ω・`)

#2ch
PERFECTION.

#2ch
Oh christ, that first part will give me nightmares.
Even if this is just a troll, it’s horrifying that you can even THINK of that!

#2ch
Speaking as a girl, I would absolutely call the police if I got this.

#OP
If there’s any further developments, I’ll make another thread.
Still waiting for Denko to reply now. (´・ω・`)
Thanks for everyone who’s given support!
Keep watching over us as we work toward happiness!!
Thank you! I’m so grateful!

there is more but let me read this first lol

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 Post subject: Re: a cute (?) love story
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 6:59 am 
Second Lieutenant
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Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 1:58 am
Posts: 309
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Quote:
Some girls will get mad and say “I’m mad! Don’t email me!”, so she might be indirectly telling you she’s mad.


Hahahahahahahahaha

Quote:
#2ch
Man! She’s totally waiting for you to come meet her!
She doesn’t want you to email her or call her, just to come by, so forget it!
She’s testing you for sure.
Take up her challenge!

On any other situation, I would agree with this here poster. At least for me, coming by to the girl’s house or something, even unannounced, works reaaalllyyy well. I remember taking a 40 minute taxi to her house at 10 pm and convincing her to come outside. :P Amazing.

In this case, OP is going to die.

Quote:
I realized it might be possible her mom was out and she was in the bath.
And we haven’t kissed yet, so seeing her naked already would probably be rude… (´・ω・`)
Plus I concluded that even if she came out in a bathrobe, I’d never seen a girl like that before, so I wouldn’t be able to talk well.
So finally, I thought I’d leave a note in the mailbox.
I bought some paper at the store and I’m thinking about what to write… (´・ω・`)


Sound reasoning, came pretty damn prepared...who am i kidding, this is gold.

Quote:
#OP
Sorry, I needed time to figure out the situation…
I went to Denko’s house, rang the doorbell, and Denko’s mom came out.
And she said “If you come by again, I’ll call the police!”
Which of these do you think it could be?

A: Denko’s mother is opposed to me and Denko going out.
B: Her mother misinterprets me as being a stalker.
C: She’s mad about me ringing a bunch of times earlier.

Lol. And I think, thread winner is where someone said "better email her to make sure".

Quote:
I would never consider killing or raping you, Denko, so don’t worry. Is that what you thought I would do?

my stomach is going to burst from the pain of laughing so hard

Aister more, please, i can't stand this.

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 Post subject: Re: a cute (?) love story
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 7:20 am 
Sergeant Major
Sergeant Major
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Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:48 am
Posts: 7996
Location: Fuyuki City
Gender: male
last part :(

Spoiler:
#OP
I was going out with my girlfriend Denko, but she suddenly told me we’re not dating… (´・ω・`)
Does this mean we’ve broken up?

#2ch
They…
They haven’t arrested you yet?

#2ch
You’re STILL here?

Forget about Denko. I feel so bad for her.

#OP
Hey, this is no laughing matter!
I made this thread so I could sort things out inside before I went to meet Denko today.

This is how things went:
I confessed -> Denko gave me the okay -> Denko said don’t email her -> Denko wasn’t dating me to begin with
I guess? I don’t understand it at all… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Show us that supposed “okay” email. In full, no editing.

#OP
Me: “I love you, please go out with me!” (Abbreviated)
Denko: “Sure” (Non-abbreviated)

#OP
She suddenly changed her phone number and email address, so now I can’t contact her, as much as I want to…
Plus there are strange rumors spreading about me at school, and everyone’s ignoring me… (´・ω・`)
It hurts so much…

#2ch
gg, man.

But it could still be worse.
On top of changing her phone number and email to get away from you, she could have you checked into a mental institution.

#OP
Please! This is a huge shock to me!
I can’t believe Denko would do something like this…
Because just yesterday, one of Denko’s school friends sold me her new email and phone number for 60,000 yen… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Same guy, huh… Frankly, I’m amazed he’s still around.

#2ch
Wait a sec.
I saw the old threads, but OP, did you really send over 600 emails without getting a reply?

#OP
I didn’t have any experience with romance, so yes, I sent that many.
But I’m better now that everyone’s warned against me doing that… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
That’s dedication, man.

But what would you do if Denko liked someone else?

#OP
I don’t think that would happen, but if she got another boyfriend, I’d cry… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
She doesn’t want your love, so pretending to date Denko is just troubling her.
It’s a waste of time getting so attached.

#OP
If I got another girlfriend, what would I tell Denko?
What would be the point of that?

#2ch
Haha, this is funny…
I just woke up my girlfriend who was sleeping beside me, had her read the previous threads… and now she can’t sleep anymore.

#2ch
Given the title of the thread, don’t you already know it’s time to give up?

#2ch
^ Let’s be realistic here, he didn’t have a girlfriend at any point.

#2ch
So, did you end up getting a reply from Denko?

#OP
After I sent that message, Denko changed her number and address, and the next day her friend sold them to me.
Then I tried sending another email, but she’d changed her number yet again.
I was really upset and bought the info from her friend again, but when I finally emailed Denko, she said we’re not dating… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
So the current situation is she said you’re not dating, so you want to talk about what you should do?

#OP
Well, Denko seems to be denying me her email, so I changed my address and I’m pretending to be one of her friends…
I need a way to casually ask what she thinks about me in a conversation… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Can you just throw in a casual “Is the thing with (OP) going okay?” with a regular email?

#OP
Hmm… (´・ω・`) I might send that, sure…
But I’m not sure if she’d talk to her friends about it, and she might already be asleep…

#2ch
You’d better not email her right now.
Don’t blow your relationship at this point, man.

#2ch
Maybe around 500 emails would wake her up?

#OP
Then she’d definitely know it was me! (´・ω・`) Pleeeeease…

#2ch
Be frank with her, man!
Then the conversation can flow naturally.

Do you have a boyfriend?
-> YES
“Ooh, who is it?” (If OP’s name comes up, you’re safe.)

-> NO
“Didn’t someone confess to you, though? Who was that?”
Then you can ask what you want to hear about yourself, OP.

Abruptly asking if she likes or hates you would be a mistake.
Lead the conversation toward what you want to hear.

#OP
Whoa! Thanks! That’s really useful!!!
Lead the conversation, huh? I think I’ll send her an email now.
Earlier I said “It’s ___! I changed my address, so please add me!!”
Denko: “___ from ___? Gotcha! Sorry, I just changed addresses too.
Invite me if you go out drinking again!”

#2ch
Good morning! Sorry to message you now.
I just woke up at this weird time…
Before I get back to bed, I was just thinking…
Denko, you’re really popular, right? So do you have a boyfriend?

Maybe start with something like that?

#OP
Thanks, I sent that. (´・ω・`)

#2ch
If she actually replies at a time like this, I think I’ll fall for Denko’s sweetness.

#OP
I’ve been wanting to know when Denko sleeps, so I’ve watched her window to see when the lights go out.
Usually the lights are out around 1 or 2, so she might be sleeping… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
OP, what about Denko charms you?

#OP
She’s cute, and tidy, and kind, and though she’s a little timid, she tries hard when she wants to.
She’s always putting in lots of effort in the shadows… (´・ω・`)
She’s just so delicate and pure. And she has a strong sense of justice, so she hates twisted things.

#2ch
So basically, Denko would be murdered if this were a TV drama.

#2ch
^ Isn’t that backwards?
As a result of OP being constantly rejected, he kills Denko out of spite…
Please, recognize you were never dating to begin with.

#OP
I HAVE HAD NO INTENTION OF KILLING OR RAPING HER.
I just wish things would go back to normal… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
And what was “normal,” again?

#OP
Just mutually caring for one another? (´・ω・`)
It sounds embarrassing when I write it…

#2ch
And how exactly did that mutual caring go?

#OP
Specifically? Uh, we emailed each other, I put smiley faces on things…
We made lots of eye contact, I greeted her with a smile… I’m getting embarrassed, but yeah, it was a lot of things.

#OP
Since everyone’s warned me that I send too many emails, I’ll only send ten every three days… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Strong sense of justice? Hates twisted things? Wow, she must hate your guts.

#2ch
Take heart, everyone. There’s no mistaking that OP and Denko never “mutually cared for” each other.

#OP
I guess it’s just hard to explain our relationship to a third party… (´・ω・`)
It’s something only we could understand, okay?

#2ch
You’re still at this…
There’s other fish in the sea, and dating sites and all that.
If Denko is eaten up by jealousy, then fine, go back to Denko.
But if not, then get along with your new girl.

#OP
I COULDN’T HAVE ANYONE BESIDES DENKO. DENKO’S THE ONLY ONE IN THE WORLD I COULD LOVE.

#2ch
»Changed her number and email address
»Changed her number and email address
»Changed her number and email address
»Changed her number and email address
»Changed her number and email address
»Changed her number and email address
…Does he… not notice…
What boyfriend wouldn’t be told about a new phone number and email…?

#2ch
He has no friends, and no experience with women, so this is how he thinks…
Make some friends first. Then we’ll talk.

#OP
I would say I don’t need friends as long as I have Denko.
But then again, I think of you guys as friends… (´・ω・`)
Since you’re all so experienced and giving me good advice…

#2ch
This guy is a serious pain in the ass.

#2ch
Why don’t you meet her face to face?
Then she’ll definitely know how barf-worthy you are.

#OP
I WANT TO BUT THEY MIGHT CALL THE POLICE.
I’ve keeping watch in front of the train station, but I’m suspecting she changed her route… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Confessing over email is so middle school…
Why can’t you tell her directly?

#2ch
Can’t you ask Denko’s friends who sold you her email?

#OP
Yeah, I’ve heard from her friend…
Supposedly Denko is “seriously afraid I’ll murder her someday.”
But I don’t think I can trust them…
It’s important I see the truth with my own ears and eyes… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Okay, just for the sake of argument.

If Denko got a boyfriend and said “OP, you’re creepy as hell, never show yourself to me again!!!!”, what would you do?

Totally hypothetical.

#OP
I guess first I’d ask what she doesn’t like about me? And then I’d try my best to be a guy that satisfies Denko.

#2ch
You’re always… keeping watch…?!

#2ch
She’ll call the police if you go to her house.
You’re keeping watch for her in front of the train station.
You suspect she changed her route.
And you still think she likes you?

#OP
Do you think there’s a misunderstanding?
I just want things cleared up… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Okay, serious time!
OP, you’re pretending to be one of her friends over email, yeah?
Then casually invite her out to karaoke.
Be a little late, send “I’m gonna be late, so you should go in before me!”
Then OP goes into the room, and you’re golden.
Since it’s karaoke, you’ll be good even if she screams! Good luck!

#2ch
I don’t suppose this “Denko” might be little more than a figment of your imagination?
If that’s the case, I don’t think there’s any doubt you have schizophrenia.
Or perhaps “Denko” does exist, but all the outrageous events you write of here are completely wild fantasies.
If that’s the case… I still don’t think there’s any doubt you have schizophrenia.

Okay, maybe I’m way off the mark, but I’m just noting the possibility.
You don’t get anything but what they write on 2channel, but it’s worth thinking about.

#2ch
If Denko figures out it’s the OP emailing her, she’s going to go insane.

#OP
I’m planning to get the info and make a quick getaway.
I don’t think I’ll get caught… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
It’s inevitable, dude.
Do you want her to hate you even more?

#2ch
Denko’s sleeping right beside me.
Her slot was too loose, so she took it up the ass.

#OP
DENKO’S NO WHORE YOU WON’T FOOL ME

#OP
Apparently Denko and some of her friends are going to see the cherry blossoms in Yoyogi Park tomorrow.
I might be able to see Denko from afar, while she’s distracted by the blossoms.
But I could use your advice to make sure I don’t do anything wrong… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
How did you find this out?

#OP
Denko’s friend sold me the info for 3000 yen… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Oh, right. Is that friend who’s selling you info a boy or a girl?

#OP
She’s a girl, but don’t worry, I know I can’t trust her 100%. (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Having to pay for information isn’t making you lose heart?
What would Denko have to say to make you give up??

#OP
I think I’m being very faithful by going as far as paying to know more about Denko.
Giving up at this point would be unthinkable, so I’m not thinking about it.
Because I really don’t know what I would do.

#2ch
Ignoring that this could be a complete troll, Denko’s a real good kid.

I mean, she actually gave the time of day to OP despite him being bullied all his life and still being a creeper even in college.

#2ch
What was this confession email you sent, OP?

[Love letter reposted.]

#OP
H-Hey, guys, stop posting that, it’s embarrassing!
I think things are really going to make progress this afternoon.
No replies since Denko seems to be asleep… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
You should just casually greet her today.

And since it’s hot, you can give her some juice.

#OP
I’ve been thinking about just casually showing up, yeah…
And then meeting Denko in person under the cherry blossoms so I can confess once more… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Er, do you think suddenly running into you would make Denko happy?

#OP
Was it accident or fate that me and Denko met on this earth?
I got the information she was going flower-viewing from a friend, so maybe that could be fate?
And Denko might just realize how fated our meeting is… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
(゜Д゜)

#2ch
Are you going to check to see if Denko leaves on time?

#2ch
I would think this is a troll for sure, but that guy who got arrested a while ago was for real…
There are some serious crazies in the world.

#2ch
Details on guy who got arrested?

#2ch
There was a stalker thread by some art student going on about such-and-such his true love.
Everyone thought he was a troll, but then he got arrested.

#2ch
^ It was Minami.

#2ch
^ Wait, that was real?!

#2ch
Here’s how things are going to go down:
- He’s rejected or reported
- Isn’t it awful that she tramples on my pure feelings?
- How can she not understand that I love her so? Never forgive…
- Denko gets shanked

#2ch
^ JESUS CRHIST NOOOOO
DENKO RUN AWAY

#2ch
I knew a guy who got rejected five times for “not being their type,” but the sixth dated him.
I asked the girl why he dated him, and she seemed to honestly like his determination.
Incidentally, it was the girl’s first boyfriend, so she was worrying a lot about dating, but she fell for the guy’s fierce forwardness.
No reason for OP to give in! So good luck and don’t stab her!

#OP
Whoa! That sounds exactly like me and Denko right now!
That really gives me hope!

#2ch
I wonder what Denko looks like.
Is she cute?
Being targeted by a stalker can’t be good for her mental state, though.

#OP
Yeah, she’s cute, though I don’t know if I could compare her to any celebrities since I don’t really know any…
I guess you could call her the model Japanese beauty.

#2ch
Hm…
And her height? I bet she’s skinny.

#OP
She’s right around 150 cm and yeah, has a slender figure… (´・ω・`)
And she’s a virign. (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Wait, how do you know she’s a virgin.
Did she tell you that herself?

#OP
Um, I just have a feeling she is…? I mean, I KNOW Denko couldn’t possibly be such a loose girl… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Pfft, you’re guessing…?
Well, who wouldn’t believe OP’s got a sixth sense for this stuff?

#2ch
I’m really sorry, dude.

#2ch
Denko might develop a fear of men at this rate.
And why the hell did Denko’s friend give OP info?
Even to make a quick buck, that’s being the worst friend ever…

#2ch
This is definitely reminding me of the Minami thread.

#2ch
Somebody call for a Snake?
I’ll go.

#2ch
^ Please protect Denko.

#2ch
^ You are our ray of light.

#2ch
Where does OP live?

#2ch
Same class as Denko in high school.
They both live with their parents.
College friends going flower-viewing in Yoyogi Park.
Given that stuff, I’m thinking they both live in the city.
And if it’s the Chuo line, I think the college is between Shinjuku and Mitaka.
If it were any lower than that, I don’t think they’d go to Yoyogi for flower-viewing.

#OP
Still not here… (´・ω・`)
Which means not much to write. If I get an email, I expect some advice.

#2ch
By the way, this is what he sent as a followup to the rejection email after peeking through windows for Denko.
[Repost of “Subject: This Is How I Feel.”]

#2ch
He explicitly denied wanting to “kill her or rape her”…
If this is real, that’s nightmarish…

#OP
Guys, don’t come look for me! That’d be embarrassing!
You’ll make me laugh if I see you while I’m confessing…

#2ch
What are you going to go in, a suit?

#OP
Just pants and a shirt… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
What do you think the chances of your confession succeeding are?

#OP
Honestly, probably about fifty-fifty… But I know she’s going to accept! I believe!

#2ch
Poor Denko’s gonna have PTSD.

#OP
Not to spoil anything, but I do have a special backup plan…
I’ll have one of Denko’s friends ask her to buy some alcohol.
Then while Denko is alone, I call to her and bring her under the cherry blossoms. (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Ooh, what a schemer!
Make sure she doesn’t hurt herself when she swoons.

#2ch
You got some real great friends, Denko… lololol

#2ch
Has all the info so far been correct?

#OP
The info I got from Denko’s friend? So far, I guess…
But I still don’t trust her 100%.

#2ch
Where’d OP go?

#2ch
Probably school.

His priorities are all out of whack, but in a way it makes me envious…

#OP
Actually, I’ve been ignoring college. They all call me creepy, so I’ve stopped going… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
If you’re gonna make a thread, answer your damn questions!

Seriously, what an aspie…

#OP
I’m not an “aspie,” okay? I’ll answer anything!
But sorry if I overlook anything… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
So the only info you’ve gotten from the friend is Denko’s contact info and the info about today?

#OP
No, she’s already sold me a bunch of other info.
Like the other day, Denko went with a friend to a soap store and bought some honey-scented body soap.
So now I’m using the exact same stuff as Denko… (´・ω・`)

#OP
And please don’t do this Snake thing, okay?
My entire life is riding on today’s confession, so I’m terrified of someone getting in the way… (´・ω・`)

#2ch
Just one thing I want to ask OP.
If Denko’s with a boyfriend at the park, will you stab her?

#OP
She definitely doesn’t have one so it’ll be okay. (´・ω・`)

#OP
Ack! Apparently I’m being misunderstood again!
The reason I’m using the same body soap is just because I thought it might help me know Denko’s feelings and make me think about things.
So it’s not for gross reasons or anything…

#OP
OHMYGODOHMYGOD I GOT AN EMAIL FROM DENKO!!!!
I’M GONNA EXPLOOOODE!!!
Gonna wash my face first like usual!

#OP
Subject: N/A
Contents:
“…? Is this ___?” (My name)

…I think this is the first time I’ve experienced synchronicity…

#2ch
Busteeeeed.

#OP
How did she find me out…? (´・ω・`)
I’m thinking how to reply…
Please, I need a way to avert this crisis…

#2ch
It was probably one of these two:

- What you were sending her (that damn emoticon?)
- She got an email from her real friend

Haha, gonna have to get serious now…

#2ch
This is tough…
She’s clever.
I don’t know how you could reply to keep up the charade.

“Hm? ___?? What about him?”
That’s the best I’ve got…

#OP
You’re all so mean… (´・ω・`)
For now, I sent ^ that email.

#OP
I’m feeling so depressed… (´・ω・`)
Well, for the people supporting me, I’ll keep you up to date on the results of the flower-viewing! Buh-bye!

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 Post subject: Re: a cute (?) love story
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 7:53 am 
Second Lieutenant
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Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 1:58 am
Posts: 309
Location: Mmhm...
Quote:
#OP
I WANT TO BUT THEY MIGHT CALL THE POLICE.
I’ve keeping watch in front of the train station, but I’m suspecting she changed her route… (´・ω・`)

Such determination never before seen.


Quote:
#2ch
Okay, serious time!
OP, you’re pretending to be one of her friends over email, yeah?
Then casually invite her out to karaoke.
Be a little late, send “I’m gonna be late, so you should go in before me!”
Then OP goes into the room, and you’re golden.
Since it’s karaoke, you’ll be good even if she screams! Good luck!

Genius.

Quote:
#2ch
I knew a guy who got rejected five times for “not being their type,” but the sixth dated him.
I asked the girl why he dated him, and she seemed to honestly like his determination.
Incidentally, it was the girl’s first boyfriend, so she was worrying a lot about dating, but she fell for the guy’s fierce forwardness.
No reason for OP to give in! So good luck and don’t stab her!

Good advice I suppose. Although the actual good advice < brilliant trolling.

Quote:
#OP
No, she’s already sold me a bunch of other info.
Like the other day, Denko went with a friend to a soap store and bought some honey-scented body soap.
So now I’m using the exact same stuff as Denko… (´・ω・`)

That's just strange.


that's it? gah.

Well, thread of the year.

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 Post subject: Re: a cute (?) love story
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:03 am 
Sergeant Major
Sergeant Major
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Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:48 am
Posts: 7996
Location: Fuyuki City
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that part was posted 8 hours ago... I'm sending 600 PMs to the one who posted that and waiting in front of his website and try to get the 4th part...

(´・ω・`)

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 Post subject: Re: a cute (?) love story
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 9:46 am 
Lieutenant Major
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Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 2:20 pm
Posts: 2198
Location: right here obviously
Gender: female
i seriously hope this guy is just trolling.

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 Post subject: Re: a cute (?) love story
PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 9:51 am 
Sergeant Major
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Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:48 am
Posts: 7996
Location: Fuyuki City
Gender: male
if he's trolling I must admit the force is strong in that guy...

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