It is currently Sun Sep 21, 2014 5:16 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours



Forum rules


1.) No trolling. If you cant have fun without being a jerk to others, find some other forum to QQ
2.) No inappropriate/vulgar/sexually explicit posting. Staff reserves the right to deem anything they see fit as inappropriate.
3.) Have fun and don't post anything not geared at having fun!
4.) Please respect staff members and their decisions at all times. If you cannot accept a staff or moderator decision, please appeal to admin Seth.



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 20 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: WKRH - Full Story
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 7:11 pm 
AANC Mentors
AANC Mentors
User avatar
 Profile

Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 3:53 pm
Posts: 512
Gender: male
A murderous murder of such vengeance happened this night. A murder that was so murderous, Kenny could not help but be interested. Kenny had no idea why he kept himself interested in this small little town where Robin Hood resided, but it seemed logical. So logical, that it took the logic and reasoning of a man who was thousands of years old to comprehend and logic out. However, Kenny had a problem. If it was logic that took such capability to figure out, it would almost be illogical. This made Kenny very angry, and he stared down the word illogical until it exploded into thousand pieces. The pieces collected into one certain spot which spelled out: Sorry for the inconvenience.

Tonight, as Kenny was riding upon his glorious flying rainbow lion, the feeling of the murder crept on his bones and his spine twitched. Goosebumps spread on his skin like a virus and emotions filled his head. Frightened was the word that filled the pit of Kenny's stomach, and Remorse slid up his spine like a snake. Someone dear had died, and so Kenny flipped on the improbability drive on his flying lion and pointed towards the town Robin Hood resided in.

The funny thing about improbability, is that the probability of something very strange happening is very high. In this case, Kenny didn't find it strange that he found himself naked, dropping down towards the town, as a mean moose rode on his back. Neither did Kenny find it strange that the speed he was hurtling down towards the town was very slow. If anything would be strange, it would be the fact that there were hundreds of jelly beans flying in all directions like a mad swarm of bees. However the strangest thing was none of the aforementioned things. The strangest thing to happen, was the fact that there was a cup of juice in front of Kenny, falling with him. This cup of juice happened to be very talkative, and was telling Kenny exactly what had been stored inside of it. That is why when Kenny hit the ground, there was also a pile of vomit laying next to him.

Kenny launched himself off the ground with great anger and furious vengeance and ran towards the tent that Robin Hood lived in. The speed of which Kenny was running was remarked later by a cheetah that had managed to witness the event as "scary". This cheetah is now in an insane asylum where he spends most of his days whimpering and refuses to run ever again. It was also remarked by another animal that Kenny was saying something as he was running, but when the sound hit this animal, it exploded. The animal could not be identified. When Kenny reached the scene of the murder, he spotted two shadows which quickly got away before he was able to shift directions. Kenny stopped.

There was Robin Hood's mangled body lying on the floor. Kenny cried out so loud that the entire town lost their hearing and observers of the scene say that for quite a small moment, the sound Kenny produced sped up past the speed of light, encasing the town in a time bubble for an entire minute for the sound to slow down*. Kenny's face blew into a flurry of red and purple, and the veins around his neck swelled. As soon as his scream subsided, Friar Tuck rose from his slumber to see what happened. Everyone, including the two murderers who were now in different clothes came over to where Kenny was. Kenny looked around at the town, pointed in a direction and gasped, then teleported away before anyone died of too much exposure to his naked body.
*Note: The speed of sound is not dependent on the intensity of the sound. Do not listen to my troll physics.

Kenny burst out laughing during the night while performing his typical coconut incantations. The reason why Kenny was laughing was something that not even Kenny fully understood. His laughing continued until a certain word made his entire body become a torrent of flames and lava begin to cascade out of his eyes. It became certain what event happened that night, a certain event with such certainty that it would certainly upset Kenny to a point that was so certain of itself, it exploded into an entirely new realm of certainty that was certainly, certain. That's certain 8 times folks. The anger building in Kenny exploded out of his rectum with such force, that he was brought into orbit with the Earth and crashed into a nearby satellite. Kenny's face contorted.

"NO!!!!"

Kenny's body contorted.

"MORE!!!"

At this point, it was hard to claim Kenny was any solid object, the contortions moved so fast and so brilliantly that light took a moment to slow down and take lessons from Kenny.

"SHENANIGANS!!!"

Lasers spread out of every orifice of Kenny's body, including some not discovered by humans yet.

It was a minor coincidence that these lasers hit the already dead bodies of Soirem and routhy12. What happened next to Kenny, is not... certain.


"UIEEEEEEEEEEWEIEEIE!!!" screeched Kenny as he flew from space down to Earth. The spectacle was brilliant. Instead of a flame being produced on Kenny's body, kittens and rainbows flew out at all directions. It's also said that Kenny was smiling.

Kenny was doing just the opposite. Kenny's frown was so massive that as he hurtled closer to the Earth, an indention on the ground was made of his face alone. This was before he even had contact with the ground.

"NO!!!"

Kenny performed a triple backflip mid flight and then posed in a hand stand, still hurtling towards the Earth.

"MORE!!!"

It is still not clear today of what maneuver Kenny performed. To give you a perspective, it's said that Chuck Norris put down his sun glasses and exclaimed. "Holy. *CENSORED*."

Chuck Norris went into cardiac arrest but the next word Kenny uttered delivered such a shock to Chuck Norris that it reversed the process.

"SNAGINANEHS!!!"

Kenny landed on Ghossfeld88 and scurried away, uttering random things and kicking boulders out of his way. Ghossfeld88 unfortunately died to this tragic happening.


Kenny ran. When Kenny ran, Kenny ran fast. The speed at which Kenny ran was so fast that light took awhile to take lessons from Kenny. All of this running made Kenny tired, and so he stopped in the nice town of Nottingham.

The why or how Kenny happened to stop at the town of Nottingham doesn't really matter at all. It just happened that when Kenny stopped, he stopped in front of w1lll, who had a knife protruding from his back and blood dribbling out of his mouth. He tried to utter his last words but before he could, Kenny did the most natural thing Kenny could think of.

"UPPERCUT!!!!" Kenny exclaimed.

This uppercut was so forceful that Ken and Ryu from Street Fighter materialized into the world just so their minds could explode from the viewing of this uppercut. It is said that w1lll's face was shattered, leaving only his body going up towards space.

It is also said that w1lll is alive today. Perhaps if he's lucky, he's on a planet full of hyper-intelligent space cows. What's important is, that he is no longer living in the town of Nottingham.

With this act done, Kenny ran away from the town before anymore atrocities happened, when one hilariously did. Kenny stomped over Xeru's stabbed body, which finally killed the poor guy. With that, Kenny thought it best to rub 2 coconuts together and teleport out of there ASAP.

Funny thing about coconuts, but that'll be explained later...


"SHENANIGANS!" Kenny exclaimed.

w4rewolf's body teleported in mid air, and fell down right at Friar Tuck's knees.


ThyLastPenguin begged and screamed not to be lynched. He fought and cried and bit his thumb at the town. The executioner brought his neck through that loop and readied the lever to drop him. The town watched with awe, and popcorn.

"LYNCH! LYNCH! LYNCH! LYNCH!"

Children came out from every corner of the town to watch and screamed in glee and pleasure. ThyLastPenguin was said to be the thorn in the town's side, ever since the town hooker went missing.

CLICK! The boards fell and Penguin struggled, gasping for air. His life went before his very eyes, the fish, the hookers, the fame, and the coconuts. Especially those coconuts, those coconuts were very fine indeed. Suddenly, his thought process was stopped.

Kenny warped into the space around Penguin, and hugged him very tightly with coconuts strewn about his naked body. Before a comment could be made, Kenny shrieked a banshee cry and warped out. The Town still cheered.

Penguin and Kenny were in a strange alchemy like circle, the blood oozing from the lines drawn about the surface of this strange planet.

Penguin cried, "Oh Kenny you saved me! I love you so much!!"

"CO!" Replied Kenny.

Penguin looked at Kenny very strangely, "Kenny, what are you doing? This is so very odd."

"CO!" Replied Kenny.

Penguin became panicked and looked around the circle. He began running away from Kenny with all of his strength, but his toe caught a rock and he came crashing down back to the ground. "KENNY NOOO!!!" screamed Penguin.

"NUT!!!" Shrieked Kenny.

The world seemed to warp and buckle under this word. Suddenly, coconuts began to swarm the entire scene and grouped around Penguin. They latched on to his body all at once and began to drain the life from Penguin. Soon, Penguin's body could no longer be seen, only a Golem of coconuts. This Golem began walking around and then knelt to Kenny.

The space cow who observed this scene exploded.

Reasons as to why... are unclear.


Kenny was not quite sure what to do with his new coconut golem, so he ate it. It was a delectable treat that could only be beat by space cow milk, and since the space cows had gone extinct, Kenny found them to be quite acceptable. With his fill of coconut, Kenny decided it was time to go check around the Town of Nottingham.

Suddenly, Kenny heard a scream. Kenny ran towards the screamer and lamented.

"SIMMEN!!!" Kenny cried. The tears coming out of Kenny were a rare sight indeed. Chuck Norris would agree that this event was enough to cripple a man's spirit. In fact, it is said that Chuck Norris cried upon viewing this event. His tears were not collected, so cancer still prevails to this day.

"WHY WOULD SOMEONE KILL SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PENGUIN!?!" Kenny lamented, "MY BEAUTIFUL PENGUIN!!!"

Kenny beat his fists to the ground so hard that earthquakes caused catastrophic tsunamis everywhere. Hilariously, Japan was not hit by any of these tsunamis. Strangely, or still hilariously depending on your point of view, only New Zealand was hit by the 23 tsunamis created. IAMNOTRACIST

The people of Nottingham were woken up by the pounding and began to come outside to see what the fuss was about. Kenny quickly revived Simmen into a spirit form and placed him on an altar up in space. Simmen was now truly the King of Spam.

Kenny then saw Vaultdweller101's dead body and puked acid on it. He then materialized a zebra out of free space and rode it into the sunrise. Surprisingly, the zebra was upright. Unsurprisingly, the zebra was reversed.


"Kenny?" inquired the robot unicorn floating in mid-space.

"Yes, you beautiful and stunning animal?" Kenny replied.

"What exactly is shenanigans?"

Kenny's eyes turned red, and blackness filled the space around Kenny and the robot unicorn. Kenny's head turned a few times, his tongue lashing out and many weird contortions happened about his body. Suddenly, he turned to normal and replied.

"Actually.. I'm not even completely sure." Kenny was embarrassed, so embarrassed, that the mere fact that he was embarrassed managed to embarrass him. The sheer force of the embarrassment formed an entire sphere of embarrassment that embarrassed Kenny even further. It is at least said, that this realization Kenny had, was downright shameful. That is, until Kenny decided that shameful did not describe the event enough. Therefore it was transformed back to embarrassing.

"Well, how exactly do you fight something you yourself are not sure what it is?" inquired the robot unicorn.

Kenny pondered for a minute, but to skip an unnecessarily long and confusing paragraph, this pondering was very thought-provoking.

"You see, my robot unicorn, shenanigans is a force of evil. Snaginanehs is just as bad, I just know it doesn't belong in the world. Perhaps it's because the normality of a situation sometimes scares me. Sometimes, I think it's because that the fact we call this world normal is downright crazy. This is why I myself have fought shenanigans. It's more of an internal struggle of my own to explain why the normal world doesn't have to be normal."

The robot unicorn nodded and replied,

"Or, you were just very bored one day."

Kenny laughed loudly.

"That scenario may very well be true."

"Well, what do you plan to do now?"

"I don't know, maybe talk to a robot unicorn about philosophy concerning shenan-"

Kenny never finished his sentence, as he immediately turned around and screamed at the Earth. This scream was so loud and piercing that it killed people who listened to it. However, the scream was set at a frequency that only Sabnc could hear, and Sabnc dropped dead on the ground.

Much rejoicing was heard across the town. Kenny vanished and never finished his conversation with the robot unicorn. The robot unicorn later exploded into cotton candy, while embarking on a journey of epic proportions to the last known place of Simmen, the beautiful penguin.


Kenny stood puzzled as he looked at the town of Nottingham. He began walking the streets naked, coconuts strewn to his naked body. As he was walking, he came across Dawnice.

"Oh, hi Dawnice. Fancy meeting you there."

Dawnice did not reply.

"You look good tonight."

Dawnice still did not respond.

"YOU RUDE SHENANIGAN-INDUCING HOOKER!!" Kenny snapped his fingers very sternly, so sternly that some say the explosion that occurred to Dawnice at that moment happened at his thumb. Chuck Norris can see in slow motion, and clearly saw that Dawnice spontaneously combusted, and that Kenny's thumb was not part of the explosion.

This doesn't mean that Kenny can't actually do that.

This does also explain why Kenny was found fleeing the scene, flying on an upside down penguin.

(Really, it doesn't.)


The town threw Etartios onto the lynching stage in a fury, The mob kept crying out for the lynching to be done, but suddenly, Etartios exploded into cotton candy.

It is suspected that Kenny was involved.

If Kenny was involved, it explains why Kenny was overhead on the scene, flying around and screeching like a pterodactyl. This scene is much funnier when you realize that Kenny looks like a human, and yet still produces sounds like a pterodactyl. Kenny shat out lava over the land around Nottingham, while humming Scottish tunes, and flying worse than a drunkard.

Friar Tuck hasn't been found ever since this lynching.

It's suspected that Kenny ate him.

(And it was delicious indeed.)


Kenny pondered long and hard. In fact, Kenny's pondering was so intense that wrinkles formed at his forehead. These wrinkles were also so intense that they created their own consciousnesses and pondered as well. Suddenly, a light bulb materialized above Kenny's head. This angered Kenny, and he grabbed and ate the light bulb in rage, without losing his concentration. It is also necessary to point out that Kenny was levitating while doing all this. An idea hit Kenny, but that only angered Kenny more, so he hit the idea back. The idea then exploded in front of Kenny which gave Kenny a newer idea that was actually useful.

Kenny set about naked, strewn with coconuts as he recreated his alchemy circle. After a couple of weeks and specifically 7 dead space goats, he tweaked the circle to a full capability. The process involved much magic dust, and after awhile, the Coconut God was summoned in middle of the circle. The Coconut God smiled at Kenny, who immediately embraced the Coconut God. The unicorns near by saw this sight and exploded into gummy bears. This is why unicorns are extinct to this day. (Note: Robot Unicorns are not.) After a few moments, the Coconut God spoke.

"What a pleasurable event it is to meet you, God of the Kitties, Kenny. What is it that you would require my services on such short notice? I have already granted you a coconut golem, among with other great gifts. What is the matter?"

Kenny frowned a bit.

"Oh great and powerful Coconut God, I have reached a paradox. I have recreated the Universe several times and have failed to eliminate Shenanigans and Snaginanehs. It seems that the Universe cannot be perfect until such entities are defeated, but without such entities, the Universe will no longer exist. I have fought many battles and am tired, what do you advise me to do?"

The Coconut God pondered on this issue. For years, the Coconut God sat still gathering thoughts and calculating. The closer the Coconut God would get to obtaining an answer, the farther away he was from the original question. Soon, he gathered his thoughts into a position that he thought would please Kenny. It is also important to note, that during these years, he was still caught under Kenny's embrace.

"Kenny, I have calculated for years and the only answer I can come up with does not fully answer your question. I came up with the numerical answer of 79. If given more time, I could perhaps think of a suitable question for which this answer answers. I think the question might b-"

The Coconut God was never able to finish his speech, as he was exploded by Kenny's rage. Kenny did not even have control over this killing and quickly lamented. He shrugged his shoulders, and felt a very loud growl come out of his stomach. Kenny was famished, and decided to take a trip to a restaurant. Not just any restaurant would fill Kenny's stomach though. Kenny decided to eat at the restaurant at the end of space and time. He mounted a flaming zebra, and rode out to find this restaurant.

Surprisingly, the universe was not destroyed in this story.

Hilariously, to resurrect the Coconut God, the universe had to be destroyed and recreated in order to do so.

Not-So-Hilariously, the flaming zebra died very quickly on Kenny's journey, due to the fact it had a stomach virus. The fact that it was on fire had nothing to do with its health.

The End.






(Warning: Contains a representation of a woman's breasts and birth. I suggest just listening to the song and not watching the video. Watch the video at your own discretion, not recommended if you are 13 or younger. Enjoy.)

_________________
Image


Last edited by Lolowut on Sun May 20, 2012 1:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 

 Post subject: Re: WKRH - Full Story
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 7:19 pm 
Lieutenant Major
Lieutenant Major
User avatar
 Profile

Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 2:20 pm
Posts: 2236
Location: right here obviously
Gender: female
Image

*retreats before the universe attempts to annihilate every fiber of my being*

_________________
the fabulous forum person, now with steam! steam ID: PrincessAbi


Top
 

 Post subject: Re: WKRH - Full Story
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 7:48 pm 
First Lieutenant
First Lieutenant
User avatar
 Profile

Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2011 6:42 pm
Posts: 540
Gender: male
Yes, just turned 14. I can watch. *doesnt watch*

_________________
Image


Top
 

 Post subject: Re: WKRH - Full Story
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 7:50 pm 
Major
Major
User avatar
 Profile

Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2009 7:48 pm
Posts: 2708
Gender: male
Its a long read but I dare not read it for the universe will implode me and turn me into a coconut D:

_________________
Image

Image


Top
 

 Post subject: Re: WKRH - Full Story
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 8:00 pm 
First Lieutenant
First Lieutenant
User avatar
 Profile

Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2011 6:42 pm
Posts: 540
Gender: male
I didnt read. Do your worst universe. ;)

_________________
Image


Top
 

 Post subject: Re: WKRH - Full Story
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 10:02 pm 
Second Lieutenant
Second Lieutenant
User avatar
 Profile

Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 271
Location: Behind you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwimhjXkS88&feature=player_detailpage

Much better than yours Kenny. And not even destroying the universe and making it again will fix that :D

And if I could know how to put that frigging video like you did it would be helpful.

_________________
Image
Special thanks to Aister for the siggy!!!


Top
 

 Post subject: Re: WKRH - Full Story
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 10:13 pm 
AANC Mentors
AANC Mentors
User avatar
 Profile

Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 3:53 pm
Posts: 512
Gender: male
vaultdweller101 wrote:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwimhjXkS88&feature=player_detailpage

Much better than yours Kenny. And not even destroying the universe and making it again will fix that :D

And if I could know how to put that frigging video like you did it would be helpful.


Well, in the context it WAS in, it made more sense. Because there were people "Still Alive"

_________________
Image


Top
 

 Post subject: Re: WKRH - Full Story
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 10:16 pm 
Second Lieutenant
Second Lieutenant
User avatar
 Profile

Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 271
Location: Behind you!
It's also perfect in the context of this. I've let you free in your own universe after youve tried to kill me twice (you actually did suceed one, just like GLaDoS, and I was the guy who dressed as the Coconut God. So, now I'm just giving you your own space, while I rule supreme ;) (your space = WKRH, mine = everything else :3)). See? Perfectly in context :D
And don't ask about Carolina, I already erased that part so I cant really remember :(

_________________
Image
Special thanks to Aister for the siggy!!!


Top
 

 Post subject: Re: WKRH - Full Story
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 10:17 pm 
AANC Mentors
AANC Mentors
User avatar
 Profile

Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 3:53 pm
Posts: 512
Gender: male
vaultdweller101 wrote:
It's also perfect in the context of this. I've let you free in your own universe after youve tried to kill me twice (you actually did suceed one, just like GLaDoS, and I was the guy who dressed as the Coconut God. So, now I'm just giving you your own space, while I rule supreme ;) (your space = WKRH, mine = everything else :3)). See? Perfectly in context :D
And don't ask about Carolina, I already erased that part so I cant really remember :(


I'm a Kitty God, your argument is invalid.

_________________
Image


Top
 

 Post subject: Re: WKRH - Full Story
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 10:22 pm 
Second Lieutenant
Second Lieutenant
User avatar
 Profile

Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 8:04 pm
Posts: 271
Location: Behind you!
You made your own universe, therefore you are indeed the Kitty God but in your universe, which is just a fraction of the Spam universe :ugeek:

Now, with all this knowledge, one can say that, indeed, my argument is valid, which is supported by the fact that I ruled the Spam universe, then get shut down after I am killed in WKRH (which was your doing, I know), and now I am back because of your summoning, then you try to destroy me again, and create your own universe to fix it. Jeesh, so much nerdy stuff to say that I own you nontheless :roll:

And this makes my argument extremely valid.
you can confirm it by dividing your argument by 0

_________________
Image
Special thanks to Aister for the siggy!!!


Top
 

Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 20 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours



You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
cron
WarLingo Android Mobile Game

Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group  
Copyright Tacticsoft Ltd. 2008   
Updated By phpBBservice.nl