I'm bored so let's play a game. I name a method by which to take The Cake (always capitalize), which is located in a room on a table surrounded by YOUR IMAGINATION, and next poster describes how
A) The Cake outwits previous poster and proceeds to
i)kill previous poster
ii)humiliate previous poster
iii)humiliate or kill previous poster while further cleaning up previous people whose attempts were just too fail to not make fun of
B) Previous poster's attempt fails in accidental suicide
C) Previous poster's attempt fails in bodily injury
No need to say how you come back to life. Everyone has unlimited life energy because you will need it to outwit The Cake. Also, try to start from te beginning every time, and make your plans vague and open ended, but The Cakes actions specific. So for example...

Me:
I sneak up behind the cake and grab at it.

Me(subscript 1):
The Cake's acid frosting burns Duo. The Cake then proceeds to take a dump of fruit on his face and leaves to eat kittehs.
I use a remote controlled claw to grab the cake.

Me(subscript 2):
The Cake's candles burn the claw. It then proceeds to summon the power of That Bit Of Cake Always Left Over and flings it at Duo (subscript 1). That Bit Of Cake Always Left Over eats Duo (subscript 1) and the rest of humanity for never eating That Bit Of Cake Always Left Over.
I shoot a portal underneath the cake...blah blah blah, and so on so forth.

Now let's start.
I sneak up behind the cake and grab at it.

-.- it isn't complicated.
Just read the example. Half of introduction was me being high anyways.

*huge facepalm* did you read the thing...?
No, I try to get the cake. I say how I try to get The Cake (I sneak up behind the cake and grab it). You first say how The Cake defeats me (see example), then name another method to get the cake (see example). It's simple.
So I sneak up behind the cake and grab it.

--waits expectantly

Facepalms twice, hard.
No, the cake stays intact.

-.- perhaps a game of rock paper scissors, omega? Pm me.

Anyone else?