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w1lll · **Posted:** Mon May 09, 2011 3:15 pm

One day, Tom was walking down one of the less trodden paths of Spam when he found something strange. It was a locked door. How odd, he thought, no doors are unlocked to me, for I am nigh omnipotent. Curious, he fetched Seth, who quickly hit the door with his banhammer. The door collapsed into a pile of fairy dust. Behind the door was a big figure.
"Aha, my evil plan is nearly complete!" bellowed the figure.
The large figure was actually an obese pony. That could only mean one thing... Suddenly, Tom whisked back a green curtain. Behind the curtain was Simmen, tapping away at the keyboard of his computer.
"Almost there, almost there..." he muttered to himself.

W1lll ran into the room, brandishing a massive, awesome shotgun, and fired it at Simmen. The blast flung Simmen across the room, but as he flew, Simmen pressed Enter. His 16,000th post appeared on the screen. It was too late. Simmen had reached a critical mass of 16,000 posts, just enough to sustain a fission reaction! He spat out a neutron, which flew across the room in slow motion. It crashed into a post, which split into two smaller posts, and released three more neutrons. These in turn hit other posts, and this started a chain reaction. Soon, Spam was overcome by a mass of small, one word posts. The Spam server was straining in the corner, and Seth took action quickly. He threw his banhammer at Simmen. It missed, so w1lll shot the server with his gun of awesomeness. It quickly A-Sploded, and Spam was no more. Soon, everybody was left in a blank space, glaring at Simmen. Simmen, seeing his sudden abscence of posts, ran off and cried himself to sleep.

To protect future generations, Seth implemented a system to prevent this happening again. He decreed that Spam posts would no longer count towards posting totals, and thus reduce the risk of evil spammers like Simmen causing such chaos again.

The End.

simmen · **Posted:** Mon May 09, 2011 3:21 pm

Sorry.

Seth · **Posted:** Mon May 09, 2011 8:14 pm

So very blue....

maxattack · **Posted:** Mon May 09, 2011 11:30 pm

simmen ur such a :geek:

mp0boy200 · **Joined:** Mon Dec 06, 2010 7:52 pm **Posts:** 0

It's beautiful.

Rotag · **Posted:** Tue May 10, 2011 9:53 am

Finally. True spammers don't care about post counts.

maxattack · **Posted:** Tue May 10, 2011 9:55 am

Put this in the newsletter!

saskue55 · **Posted:** Wed May 11, 2011 7:13 pm

that story was a giant blur to me XD

Tenkai · **Posted:** Wed May 11, 2011 7:15 pm

ill assume simmen is evil and address him as such =D

maxattack · **Posted:** Wed May 11, 2011 8:01 pm

yeah he is evil, but not as evil as teller.

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